


A Holly Jolly Christmas

by keylimepie



Series: Christmas Carol 'Verse (Human AU) [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Assault, Attempted Sexual Assault, Barista Gabriel (Supernatural), Christmas Fluff, Detective Dean Winchester, Eventual Happy Ending, Family Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Love at First Sight, M/M, New Year's Kiss, Pre-Law Student Sam Winchester, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Stalking, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-09-25 10:28:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17119637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keylimepie/pseuds/keylimepie
Summary: Sam is headed to his foster family's house for the Christmas holiday when he unexpectedly gains a road trip buddy and a new friend, who quickly turns into a new crush. But Gabe seems too much in need of a friend right now for Sam to ruin everything by making things weird, no matter how many close situations they're thrown into.





	1. Chapter 1

Sam Winchester was not exactly looking forward to Christmas. He knew that he couldn’t avoid it indefinitely, but for the moment he just needed to escape the looming holiday and take a breather before he set out on the long drive home. He trudged down the sidewalk with a book tucked under his arm. It was dark, the kind of dark only a December evening could provide. Snow crunched under his boots, and scanty light from street lights shone down through the gloom. And then just ahead, light spilled out onto the sidewalk from the large windows of the Sugar Shack. Sam pushed open the door with a merry little tinkling of Christmas bells and stepped into the cafe. 

It smelled amazing in there, as always. Gingerbread, chocolate, vanilla, apples, and pumpkin filled the air. Anna and her crew must have been baking up a storm for the holiday orders. They’d decorated the place, too. Loops of greenery hung on the walls, and shiny gold stars, bells, and angels dangled from the ceiling. One of the corner tables held a small tree, covered with lights and ornaments. An array of stockings hung on the wall near the counter. Sam stepped over to read the the glittery script on each stocking. He came in here pretty often, yet he wasn’t quite sure which names went with which faces. Anna of course, she was the owner and the most likely face to see around, and he’d chatted with her a few times. Tessa? Jane? Garth? Gabriel? There were a bunch of faces who sometimes served Sam his coffee and muffins at the counter, but he realized he had no idea who any of them were. 

It had been a rough semester. He’d been carrying a heavy course load and working a lot of hours as well. Today felt like the first breathing room he’d had in months. He’d finished his last shift in the financial aid office this morning, still trying to get people sorted out for spring semester, and now he was free to start the drive to Sioux Falls. He just needed a little coffee and a few moments to relax before he went. 

The cafe was pretty empty tonight. Two of the tables held solitary coffee drinkers with laptops, and there was no one behind the counter. Sam could hear rattling from the kitchen. Surely someone would be out any moment. He peered into the case, admiring all the nicely decorated holiday treats. Minutes ticked by. The rattling in the kitchen continued, and there was a faintly murmuring voice. 

“Anna? Everything okay?” Sam called. But it wasn’t Anna whose head poked out a moment later. It was that one guy, the blond, the short one. His eyes were wild, and he held a cell phone clutched to his ear. 

“There has to be a ticket- look, I don’t even care if it’s not direct. I just want to get there by Christmas.” He stepped up to the register and looked at Sam expectantly. 

“Oh um. I just want a double espresso.” The guy punched buttons on the register and turned to the espresso machine. With the phone tucked under his ear, he started pulling the shots. 

“Okay, so what about… St Louis? Can I get a ticket to St Louis and then one to Des Moines? … Yeah I know that’s way farther, I just… well what good is that? No, I need to get there before Christmas. Ugh. Dammit!” He tossed the phone onto the counter and turned to give Sam his drink. 

“One double espresso, hot and fresh for you, kiddo,” he said. This guy was usually cheerful, funny, engaging. Sam liked it when he was working, now that he thought about it. But his golden eyes were dull and angry now, and Sam felt a pang of sympathy. 

“I’m sorry, did you say that you’re trying to get to Des Moines?” 

“Yeah, wow you’re a sharp one. You should be a detective. Yeah, apparently I should have bought a bus ticket weeks ago. Stupid me, living paycheck to paycheck here.” 

Sam snorted a laugh. “That’s funny because my brother is actually a detective. I mean, not the rest. That’s not funny. Anyway. I’m sorry, it’s just that… I’m driving north tonight. I could- I could take you. It’s only a little farther. I don’t mind.” 

The guy blinked. “Are you serious?” 

“Yeah, what the heck, why not? It’s the holidays after all. And you make a damn good espresso. You’re not, like, a murderer or anything?” 

“No, why, are you?” 

Sam laughed. “I hit a squirrel with my car once. Full disclosure.” 

The guy pulled a gingerbread man from the display case, placed it on a plate, and slid it across to Sam. “I once murdered an entire dozen of these. They came out a little burnt and Anna didn’t want to put them out, so it was kind of a mercy killing.” Sam was relieved to see that the sparkle was coming back to his eyes. 

“What’s your name?” Sam blurted out. 

The guy dissolved in laughter, making his eyes crinkle up at the corners. “Jeez, kid. You just invited me on a road trip and you don’t even know my name?” 

“Yeah, I guess I did,” Sam said. “You accepted. Do you even know mine?” 

“Touche. Well, I am Gabriel.” He extended his hand across the counter. “Pleased to make your acquaintance now that I’ve been serving you coffee for months.” 

“Sam. It’s very nice to finally meet you.” 


	2. Chapter 2

Sam eased his car into the last parking spot at the curb outside Gabriel’s apartment building. It was just after 5 PM and he’d expected to be a good thirty miles or so out of town by now, but it was okay. He had a triple espresso in a to-go cup that should see him through the long night of driving, and it was heartwarming enough to see how Gabriel had perked up. He’d slid into Sam’s passenger seat, all smiles and laughter, and sung along to the terrible Christmas pop music on the radio. Now he opened the passenger door, fumbling for his house keys. 

“You coming?” he asked when Sam made no move to shut the car off or get out. 

“Oh, um…” 

“Come on in, jeez, I’m not gonna make you sit in the car. I’ll be real quick, but still.” Sam shrugged and turned the car off. I’m going into a strange guy’s apartment, Sam thought. Okay. This day just kept getting weirder. 

Gabriel’s apartment was surprisingly neat. Sam had thought that the chaotic, bubbling personality would lend itself to a cluttered and disjointed living situation, but that was not the case. The apartment was a single room, with a kitchen area separated by a bar with high stools, and a bedroom artfully concealed behind a Japanese screen. The living room between took up most of the space, with a simple brown leather couch and matching recliner. A TV stand against one wall held a decent sized flat screen and was flanked by bookcases full of DVDs, knicknacks, and books - more books than anything. Sam was itching to run his hands over the spines and read the titles, but he stood politely in the small kitchen and admired the homey prints on the walls while Gabriel gathered his things. 

“Bags are already packed, just need to grab them,” he explained. He picked up a backpack from the bed and slung it on his shoulders, then pulled a large tote bag full of wrapped gifts from beneath the bed. 

They had soon loaded the things into the trunk of Sam’s Toyota and were heading toward the highway out of town. “You can change the music if you like,” Sam offered. “I’m not picky.” 

“Nah, this is great,” Gabriel assured him. He turned the volume up a few clicks and belted out Holly Jolly Christmas. Sam couldn’t help but sneak a sideways glance and grin. Gabriel’s joy was infectious. 

A few songs later, Gabriel turned the volume down. “So tell me about you, Sam,” he said. “What do you do?” 

“Law. I’m pre-law,” Sam said. 

“Mm. Okay, so that’s what you’re studying, but what else do you do?” 

Sam blinked. “Um. I mean, it’s a pretty intense course, so… not a lot else. I guess. I liked to read- when I was younger, in high school when I had more free time. Sci fi, fantasy, history, philosophy, anything really.” He glanced down at the console between the seats. “I actually had a book on CD that was going to get me through this drive. Not that- I don’t mind talking to you and listening to the radio instead, but it’s the first non coursework thing that I’ve picked up in months. 

“I don’t mind if you want to pop it in.” 

“Nah, I’ll save it for… I’m sure I’ll need a break at some point during this festive holiday occasion.” The last three words were punctuated with wryness. 

“Family drama, huh?” 

“Doesn’t everyone have it? It’s not bad, my family. They’re pretty awesome. Foster family actually, my brother Dean and me have been with them since we were kids, but they became my family and… they just are. Bobby and Ellen. And Ellen’s daughter, Jo. That’s them, that’s my family.” 

“So they’re gonna be happy to see you, right?” 

“Oh, definitely! I think maybe… they worry I’m working too hard. I kind of expect to get some grief over that, I guess. Nothing major, really, but sometimes the nagging gets to be much, even when it’s out of love.” 

“Sounds like you’re pretty lucky, kiddo.” 

Sam snorted. “You keep calling me kiddo. What are you, ancient?” 

“I’m twenty-eight. So compared to you-” 

“I’m twenty-one, jeez. It’s not that big a difference.” Sam flushed, feeling self-conscious over his need to establish that. 

A few hours outside of town they stopped at a Gas n Sip for a bathroom break. Sam noticed that Gabriel eyed up the candy rack when he walked by, but he shook his head when Sam asked if he was getting anything and just went right back to the car. Sam grabbed a basket and went around the aisles, grabbing chips and candy bars and beef jerky, an assortment of snacks. He handed the bag to Gabriel as he slid into his seat. He pulled a packet of SunChips out for himself and waved his hand. “I got a bunch for us both to graze on, figured what the heck.” 

“Thanks, Sam,” Gabriel said carefully, pulling a Three Musketeers out. Their coffees from the cafe, encased in double paper cups, were still warmish and Sam sipped at the espresso as he drove. It started snowing soon after they got back on the highway, and he frowned at the road as he slowed down. 

“This is bad,” he said worriedly. “It wasn’t supposed to snow like this tonight.” 

“And here you are having to put all these extra miles in for me,” Gabriel said sadly. 

“It’s fine. I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Sam reassured him. The radio continued to play Christmas music and Gabriel sang along softly. Sam was really getting to like hearing his voice. There was something comforting and cozy about the way he sang, and Sam felt peaceful and happy in spite of the road conditions. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of creepy non-con elements in this chapter. Nothing major, but I just wanted to give folks a heads-up.

It was after ten when they reached Des Moines. Gabriel directed him to a house in a nice little cul-de-sac neighborhood. The double-wide driveway in front of the two car garage was already full of cars, and Sam parked at the curb. “I have three brothers and they have a total of six vehicles between them,” Gabriel said. Sam realized with shame that he hadn’t asked about Gabriel’s family at all. 

“Sam, uh, there’s like three inches of snow on the ground already. Do you think… you think maybe you wanna stay here overnight? At least give the highway departments a chance to clear this? I feel really bad about you not getting home tonight and getting to wake up at home on Christmas Eve and all that, but I’ll feel even worse if you slam into a tree or something.” 

“Your family won’t mind?” Sam said. “I think I can make it- I know the car doesn’t seem like much but Bobby always makes sure I have great tires and everything. And if it gets too bad I’m not afraid to pull off.” 

“What, and freeze to death on the side of the road? Come on. At least until daylight?” Sam sighed and nodded. Gabriel sighed in relief as they gathered his things from the trunk and headed toward the door. 

The door was answered by a tall man - not as tall as Sam, but quite a bit taller than Gabriel. He was dark haired and blue eyed, clad in sports team sweats, and was clutching the TV remote. 

“Gabe! Didn’t think you were gonna make it after all. Who’s this?” 

“Hey Mikey. This is Sam, he was good enough to give me a ride, and...” Gabriel gestured to the rapidly falling snowflakes. 

“Well come on in out of the snow, Sam.” Mike stepped back and gestured them in, and they entered the foyer. Sam followed Gabe’s lead, shuffling out of his coat and hanging it on the pegs, pulling off his snowy boots. Mike stood back and watched, his face emotionless. No hugs, Sam noted. No ‘how have you been’, no ‘I missed you, little bro’. It wasn’t what Sam expected for a guy coming home for the holidays to family he probably hadn’t seen in a long time. 

Mike led them through to a big living room. An enormous TV hung on the wall over the mantle, a football game paused on the screen. In the corner a tree was decorated with careful precision. Gabe put the sack of gifts under it. 

“Hey everybody, this is Sam,” Gabe said. On the L-shaped sofa, another guy, tall and blond, was stretched out on one end, a bag of chips in his lap. In the corner of the sofa a younger guy, maybe closer to Sam’s age, sat cross legged, petting a black fuzzy cat in his lap. “Sam, that’s Lucian and Cas,” Gabe said, gesturing to them. Lucian studied Sam up and down with a gaze that left Sam feeling slightly uncomfortable. Cas just nodded a hello before picking his book up again. 

Gabriel sunk onto the sofa next to Cas, and Sam sat on the end. Mike and Lucian went back to watching the football game. 

“They TIVO’d it and they’ve been riveted since they got home from work,” Cas said with a smile. “I, however, read the outcome on the Internet, but they’ve threatened me with painful death if I tell them.” 

Sam chuckled at that, but he noticed that Gabe tensed beside him. He looked curiously at Gabriel, but Gabriel just shrugged him off. 

Sam shot off quick texts to Dean and to Ellen, letting them know that he was safely stopped for the night due to the road conditions, but didn’t elaborate. He’d explain it to them in the morning, when he’d gotten there and they could no longer worry about him staying with strangers, in a strange city, far off the path he was supposed to have taken. 

During the commercial breaks, Mike and Lucian were more chatty. They had made it through the usual polite getting acquainted questions with Sam by the time the game was on halftime. Mike didn’t seem terribly interested beyond that, and Sam found him a little cold and distant. Cas was not as chatty, yet he didn’t come off as cold, merely dreamy and thoughtful. Lucian seemed the most engaging, but Sam felt something off about his focus that he couldn’t quite define. The brothers seemed nice enough, and Sam wondered why Gabriel was squeaking out a meager living as a barista such a long way away. They had a nice house, new cars; the wristwatch that Mike wore probably cost more than Gabriel’s annual salary. Sam knew there must be something he was missing. 

“I’ve recently had a resignation in the marketing department,” Mike said. His cool gaze locked on Gabriel. 

“Well employment is down, so I’m sure you’ll be able to fill it pretty darn quick,” Gabe said. “Hit those recruitment websites, Mike.” 

“It’s what you were training for, Gabriel,” Mike said, his voice filled with annoyance. He didn’t seem to deal well with not getting his way, Sam noted. 

“We could get you a haircut, manicure, suit… Sam, what do you think? A man should take some pride in his appearance, eh?” Lucian studied his own nails. 

Sam shrugged. “I- I don’t think there’s… one specific way to…” 

“We’ll talk more this week, Gabriel,” Mike said firmly. Sam felt Gabe stiffen beside him. The conversation lulled after that. 

Sam was starting to feel sleepy, but he wasn’t sure what the arrangements were supposed to be. Was he to get the sofa when everyone else went to bed? Surely with this big of a family there were no spare bedrooms, even in this huge house? Were Gabe’s parents already in bed? He mentally kicked himself for not asking more about the family on the drive. 

Sam excused himself to the bathroom. Down the hallway, just before the kitchen, was a little half-bath. When he stepped out again, he noticed that Lucian was in the kitchen, over by the breakfast nook where the light was dim. Sam turned to walk back toward the living room. Something about his presence seemed secretive, and Sam didn’t want to pry. The guy could be on a private phone call or snorting coke for all he knew. He’d only gotten a few steps away when Lucian called his name. 

“Hey, Sam.” Against his better judgement, Sam turned around and went back into the kitchen. “Can I get you anything else? Another beer? Something stronger?” Lucian walked over toward him and leaned against the kitchen island. “Anything take your fancy?” The angle of his body and the gaze left no confusion about what he was implying. 

“Oh, no, I should… I’m good, thanks,” Sam said. He swallowed nervously and glanced out the window. Maybe the snow had stopped and he could just get going. Find a motel. Something. 

“Sam, you are… so…” Lucian inhaled sharply. He suddenly sprung forward, stopping just inches from Sam, and cupped his hand around Sam’s cheek. Sam could feel boozy breath against his face, and he froze, wide-eyed. “Mm. It’s a cold night, you know… want to make sure you’re going to stay warm enough…” 

“I think I’ve got that covered,” said Gabriel from the doorway, his voice like spiced honey over steel. He stepped up to Sam, and Lucian backed up as Gabriel approached. Gabe put his hand on Sam’s shoulder and stood just in front of him, putting himself between his brother and Sam. “We should hit the sack, babe. Can’t wait to show you my childhood bedroom.” 

Sam opened and closed his mouth a few times, but he was at a loss for words. There was a flash of anger on Lucian’s face as Gabriel steered Sam out of the room and toward the stairs. “I am so, so fucking sorry,” Gabriel was muttering in a low voice. “I should have fucking known. I had a bad feeling. Just go along and I’ll look out for you, kiddo.” They climbed the stairs and Gabriel led him through a door and flipped the lights on. Then he shut and locked the door behind him. 

“Sam, I’m so sorry. Luci’s a creep, but I really thought that he wouldn’t bother a friend of mine. Maybe.. Maybe if he thinks we’re dating, he’ll back the hell off. Hope you’re not mad at me about that.” Gabriel sat in the desk chair and looked down at the floor glumly. “Go ahead and take the bed.” 

Sam looked around the room in bewilderment. It looked like Gabriel had half moved out years ago. Boxes full of stuff were stacked against one wall. An ancient desktop computer sat on the desk, dusty and disconnected. Faded squares on the wallpaper showed where pictures and posters must’ve hung previously. The bed was made, a pretty blue floral comforter pulled over it all. The closet door was slightly ajar, and Sam could see that clothes still hung in there. 

Gabriel went to the closet and pulled blankets from the top shelf and tossed them in a heap in the corner. 

“Don’t be silly,” Sam said. “It’s your room, you don’t have to…” 

“Well I don’t feel good about leaving you on the sofa after…” Gabriel stopped with a sigh and ran his hand over his face. “I’ve completely misread this, haven’t I? Oh jeez. Look, if you’re interested in my brother then-” 

“What? No!” Sam exclaimed, making a disgusted face. “No, you didn’t misread. That was- I’m glad you got me out of there. I just… sorry if this is too awkward, but we can totally split this bed. It’s big. We can each keep to a side, right?” 

Gabriel looked down at the pile of blankets at his feet. “You’re that comfortable with me?” 

“Huh. I guess I am,” Sam said with a smile. 

Gabriel produced some comfortable cotton sleep pants from a dresser drawer and tossed a pair to Sam, since both of their bags had been left downstairs. Neither one wanted to leave the room, and without discussing it, they turned their backs and changed quickly. 

Sam slid under the covers, careful to stay on his side. The bed was comfortable, and there was something reassuring about Gabriel’s presence on the other side of it. They both laid quietly, and Sam thought Gabriel must’ve fallen quickly asleep. But then he tossed around, turning on his side. 

“I know they kind of suck, but they’re all I have left,” Gabriel said. “Mom died when Cas was a baby. And Dad… he, uh. He signed everything over, the house and the business, to Mike and Lucian and kind of... took off... when I was in tenth grade. Left them in charge of Cas and me. We haven’t heard from him in years.” Gabriel took a deep breath. “And it was awful. They couldn’t agree on how to run anything, they fought about money and the house and just every stupid thing. Mike’s kind of… he’s just this control freak, you know? Like, extreme level. You never know what’ll set him off. I know he seemed fine tonight, but if you were around him for a long time you’d see he’s pretty toxic. Lucian, though. It’s not just the anger thing with him. Or the hitting on people and being super overbearing about it. He’s… he’s been arrested a few times. Assault, animal cruelty, drugs, DUI. And honestly I think the truth is probably even worse than anything he’s been charged with. Mike even threw him out once but he lawyered up and came back. He never really ends up having to deal with the consequences. Not with all the money, and the family prestige and all that crap.” 

“That’s why you live in Kansas now?” Sam murmured. “Gabe, I’m so sorry. What about Cas, though? What’s his story?” 

“Cas is a good kid. Well, I guess not a kid anymore of course, but he’s my baby bro so he’ll always seem…” 

Sam chuckled. “My brother is the same way about me.” He shifted on his side, facing Gabriel. “Why doesn’t Cas leave, too? I’d think he’d want to get away from their crap, too.” 

“I don’t know. He works for the company. None of us went to college, you know, so we don’t have a lot of options. Mike thought it was stupid to spend the money on it when we had a business to run and wouldn’t need degrees. Hence my spectacular barista career.” 

“Hey, you are a spectacular barista,” Sam said. “Seriously though. And, um, you’re a good person. I can tell. It doesn’t matter who your family is. It’s who you are.” 

“Thank you, Sam. That means more than you know,” Gabriel said. He sniffled, and Sam realized that he was starting to cry. Sam reached over and patted his shoulder, a little unsure of what he should do. At the gesture, Gabriel melted into him and Sam found himself holding Gabe while he sobbed into Sam’s chest. 

The next thing Sam knew, he was waking up. Daylight was just peeking through the blinds of the eastern window, and he was lying on his back with Gabriel cuddled on his chest. It felt so nice and Sam realized with crashing clarity that he had developed a pretty severe crush on the guy. The guy whose name he hadn’t even known twelve hours ago and was now sleeping in his arms. Sam inhaled deeply of the scent of Gabriel’s hair. Strawberry shampoo and the scent of coffee and vanilla. He savored it, surely soon Gabe would wake up and this would be over. 

When Gabriel finally stirred, at first he just nuzzled closer to Sam, burying his face in his neck. Sam held back a whimper. Gabe’s breath was hot against his throat, and he had to force himself to think about gross car wrecks and rotten garbage and even dead puppies just to keep from having an embarrassing situation pop up. But Gabriel pulled away suddenly. 

“Sorry… so sorry… mornin, Sam.” He sat up, leaning forward and rubbing his face with his hands. “So much for respecting your space, kid. Ugh, I feel hungover.” 

“It’s okay, Gabe. Yeah, I think you…” 

“Post-cry hangover. Yep, I remember now.” Gabriel winced. “Sorry to dump that on you. I haven’t really told… well, anyone.” 

Sam sat up, the blanket pooling around his waist. “Well then I’m very honored that you confided in me. And… I’m here for you. Anytime you need to talk.” 

“‘Precciate that, Sam. I do.” The sun was fully up now and sunlight spilled in the room, a wide beam of it catching Gabriel’s hair. It was so golden it practically glowed with a halo of light. Combined with the darker gold of his eyes, it was a gorgeous effect. He stared at the man in the bed next to him for probably a bit longer than was considered polite. 

“We should go downstairs. Get you fed and caffeinated and on the road. Merry Christmas Eve, by the way.” Gabriel threw off the covers and climbed out of the bed, and bent over to pick up his jeans off the floor. 

Sam groaned inwardly. He hadn’t even been quite sure if he was bi. He’d had a few fleeting moments of thinking about guys in that way, but it never seemed serious and he figured everyone probably had those thoughts from time to time. This sudden attraction, crush, whatever you wanted to call it, was like a sledgehammer to the head. Still, Sam didn’t want to blow this friendship over this. He really liked Gabe, and Gabe seemed to need the companionship. And what reason did he have to think the guy wasn’t straight, anyway. All these thoughts ran through Sam’s mind as Gabe pulled off his pajamas and stepped into his jeans. The guy had gorgeous, muscular legs and a perfectly round butt encased in boxer briefs. Sam filed these details away to think about more in depth later. 

Gabriel picked Sam’s jeans up off the floor and tossed them at him. “What do you say? Looks like the snow’s stopped. You can get home in time for all that last minute Christmas eve getting ready kinda stuff.” 

Sam got dressed and followed Gabriel down the stairs. The house was quiet in the early morning, though Sam still felt a little on edge. Gabriel bustled around the spacious kitchen, making coffee. 

“Hungry? I could whip you up some eggs? Oatmeal? Fruit salad?” 

“Fruit salad sounds lovely,” Sam said, sipping at the mug of coffee he’d been presented with. “Mmm, how do you work your magic even without professional cafe equipment?” 

“Ahhh, I can’t tell you all my tricks,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows. Once again, there was that locking of gazes, that prolonged stare. 

“Uh, sorry, I’m just grabbing coffee,” Cas said, watching them a little wistfully from the doorway. He walked into the room and reached for the coffee pot. 

“No problem, Cas. Come hang out with us,” Gabriel said, winking at Sam, then turning toward his brother. He reached up and ruffled his hair with a grin. Sam smiled; it was good to see that Gabe had at least some brotherly affection in this weird family. 

Gabe put Cas to work chopping a cantaloupe, and Sam peeling and sectioning clementines. “Gabe always was the most motivated cook of the family,” Cas said affectionately. “The rest of us are content with convenience food and take-out and as little kitchen work as possible. Does he cook for you, Sam? I suppose that’s how he won your heart. What’s your favorite dish of his?” 

“Oh. Well, uh. Of course, his coffee is unparalleled. And he’s fed me, sure. I guess I’ve liked everything of his that I’ve put in my mouth.” Sam realized about a millisecond too late how that sounded when Cas choked on a mouthful of coffee. Gabriel set down the knife that he’d been slicing strawberries with and leaned against the counter for support as he hooted in shocked laughter. 

“Point taken, I won’t pry any further,” Cas said at last, holding his hand up in surrender. “Well I’m glad you two are happy together. At least one of us isn’t destined to eternal loneliness.” 

“Aww, Cassy,” Gabriel said sympathetically. “You could always see what Meg is-” 

“I think not,” Cas said firmly. “Gabriel, you have no idea. Just… don’t.” 

Sam tactfully kept his attention focused on the fruit salad tasks. Clearly poor Cas was not very lucky in love, but Sam hardly knew the situation well enough to weigh in on it. 

The salad was soon mixed and scooped into bowls. Sam sat down to a bowl of it and a fresh cup of coffee. Gabriel sat down across from him and Sam suddenly found it hard to concentrate on the food. Gabriel was all smiles and laughter and animatedly telling stories of coffee shop antics. 

After breakfast, Gabriel insisted on bundling up and going out to help Sam clean the snow from his car. They went through the garage, where they gathered shovels and a brush, and went to work. 

The blanket of freshly fallen snow on the world was beautiful. The plow trucks had come through, scraping a path through the middle of the street and sprinkling ash and salt through it. But the hard packed ridge of snow on the edge would have to be dug through before Sam could drive his little car out. 

They chipped away at it quietly for a time until they were both sweaty and panting in spite of the cool air. Sam couldn’t help but notice how lovely Gabe looked with his hair dishevelled and sweat-damp. He squeezed his eyes shut at the sudden thoughts that led to. 

“Hey, you okay? Should we take a break?” Gabe had stopped and touched Sam’s arm in concern, studying him with gentle eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. I, uh, actually I think this is probably good. I can probably get out of here now.” 

“Good. Good, good. Well I guess… have a very merry Christmas, Sam. I can’t thank you enough for this. Or apologize enough for… you know.” 

“Stay in touch?” Sam said hopefully. “Keep me posted on how things are going.” He stopped short of saying that he would be worrying; their eyes met and an understanding seemed to pass between them. “If you need anything…” 

“Will do, kiddo. Drive safely. See ya back in Lawrence next month, I guess?” 

“I have to be back by the 3rd. Back in the financial aid office for work. No big winter break for me.” 

“Well definitely stop in and see me then. And drive safely.” Sam nodded and opened his door. He paused and looked at Gabriel standing there by the snowbank, leaning on the shovels, and then he turned to sweep him into a crushing hug. 

“Bye Gabe,” he said, squeezing the man’s shoulders before releasing him. “I’d better get going. I told Ellen I’d be home by lunch.” 

He managed to get out of the parking spot with minimal tire spinning, and was soon underway toward Sioux Falls. The highways were all nicely cleared, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He kept finding himself glancing over toward the passenger seat, missing the bright presence of his new friend more than he’d thought possible. “Get ahold of yourself, Winchester,” he muttered, shoving in the audiobook CD. 


	4. Chapter 4

Sam pulled into the driveway at the Singer home, parking in his old familiar spot near the garage. The lot had been plowed, a little sloppily, but Sam suspected that Jo had been allowed to do it herself and he decided not to comment. He had just enough space to open his door without smacking into the snowbank, so that was okay. 

Sam popped the trunk and started gathering his things to carry into the house, but he was soon tackled by Jo in a huge hug. “Merry Christmas, you big dork!” she said, backing up to punch his shoulder. “I missed you.” 

“Missed you too,” Sam said, grinning happily. “Does this mean you got my room all ready? Fresh sheets? Mint on the pillow?” 

“You wish!” she snorted, grabbing one of the bags from him and walking toward the house. “Come on, Mom made fresh cinnamon rolls this morning. S’posed to be your welcome home breakfast. She wouldn’t let us eat them all.” 

“I had breakfast where I stayed,” Sam said. At Jo’s icy glare he amended: “but I could definitely eat a fresh homemade cinnamon roll.” 

Ellen and Bobby greeted Sam with fierce hugs, and soon they were sitting around the kitchen table, grilling Sam on things he’d rather not talk about. Was he eating well, was he sleeping enough, was he taking time to have fun and be a normal kid at college, for pete’s sake. Sam deflected as best he could, reassured them, and ate three cinnamon rolls just to keep his mouth full and avoid having to talk. 

“Jo, on the other hand, is taking too much time to have fun and not enough studying. So between the two of ya, it evens out,” Bobby said. 

“Ugh,” Jo groaned, rolling her eyes. “It was one D, I still get the credit.” 

“And two C’s and a B. Next semester better not be-” 

“I _know_ , Mom,” Jo grumped, folding her arms across her chest. “And I won’t have to take any stupid philosophy or speech classes next semester either, so it won’t be like that.” 

Sam bit his tongue, holding back the replies he wanted to make about how much he’d enjoyed philosophy, and how important speech classes were to nearly every career path. He had a pretty good idea how well that would go over with his fiery little sister and her tendency to take everything in life as a personal attack, even required college courses that she didn’t particularly care for. 

“Hey Sam, why don’t you show me what noise your car was making that you texted me about last week,” Bobby said, standing up from the table and pulling a quilted flannel shirt on. “I better find out now in case I need to order anything.” 

“Good idea,” Sam said, putting his cup and plate in the dishwasher. 

Once they’d stomped into boots and gotten out by the garage, Bobby turned to him. “Car still running okay?” 

“Like a dream,” Sam said. “Got me through some pretty hairy weather last night. But I wanted to stop before I ran into any problems, you know?” 

“Smart move,” Bobby said. “You must’ve got a late start? Didn’t make it too far, if it took ya all morning to get here.” He eyed Sam with a wary eye. 

Sam snorted. “And here I thought you were dragging me out here to save me from the Ellen-Jo smackdown, not to grill me. Should have known.” He kicked at his tire, dislodging a snow chunk. “You got me, okay? I stayed with someone last night. I’m- I’m a grown man, Bobby, I-” 

“Fair enough, son,” Bobby said, holding up a hand in surrender. “Well here we are worrying that you’re not socializing, making friends, going to a party or two, and you’re taking up with a secret girlfriend. From your classes, I take it? She pretty? Nice to ya? You’re bein’ smart and taking the necessary precau-” 

“Yeah whoa Bobby, we don’t need to have that talk again. I’m good. It’s all good, I promise.” Sam mentally kicked himself; he hadn’t meant to make it sound like he’d been staying with a romantic partner, no matter how much he wished that were the case. 

Bobby sighed and scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah I’ll leave that to Dean. Wait’ll he finds out.” He opened the hood of Sam’s car and proceeded to check the fluids. 

“He had to work this morning?” 

“Paperwork that couldn’t wait, he said. Should be here by dinner.” 

Sam raised his eyebrows. “Big crime spree in Sioux Falls?” 

“Whatever it is, he can’t talk about it yet. I wouldn’t bug him about it. Go get me that jug of oil inside the door. Jeez kid, do you ever top this thing up?” 

Sam fetched the jug quietly. He knew, they both knew, that he never thought to check the fluids. Sometimes he forgot that the hood was openable. Whatever love for gears and belts and oil and whatever else lurked beneath the surface of cars that Bobby and Dean and Jo had, it had escaped Sam entirely. 

By the time they came back into the house, Jo had disappeared to her room and Ellen was sitting at her desk in the den, working on orders and bookkeeping for the business. Sam sat down in the living room and flipped through the TV channels, waiting for Dean to get there. Though he now lived in his own little bachelor apartment downtown, he was often home, and would waste no time coming out to see Sam as soon as he could. 

It was late afternoon when Dean’s car roared into the driveway. He came in the front door. 

“Take your boots off,” Ellen called from the den. 

“Yes ma’am,” Dean said, winking at Sam from the doorway. He sat on the little bench seat in the front hallway and unlaced his boots. He was still in his work clothes; khakis, a shirt and tie, and a blue blazer. It was a little strange seeing him like this now instead of the uniform he’d worn for years. 

“How was work?” Sam asked. “You look like shit.” 

“It’s been… it’s been a hell of a day, Sam. And maybe in a few more days, I’ll tell you all about it. Let’s just have Christmas now, eh?” He came into the living room and dropped onto the couch next to Sam, propping up his feet on the coffee table. “So what have you been up to?” he asked. 

“Same old same old,” Sam said. “Classes went great this semester, work is fine. I’m really feeling good about things, you know?” 

“Good, good,” Dean said. “And, uh… this girl… Bobby said....” 

“Dean… don’t,” Sam said tiredly. He deeply regretted having let Bobby think he’d stayed with a romantic partner. He should have cleared that up right away. Lying to the family was rough, but lying to Dean was nearly impossible. 

“Fair enough. Hey Ellen, we doin’ the eggnog thing tonight? I could stand to get my nog on.” 

“Later,” she replied. “Plenty of beer in the fridge; you’ll have to settle for that.” 

Dean got up and shuffled out to the kitchen, and Sam followed him. He peered into the slow cooker that was steaming away on the countertop, then peeked in the oven where something in a casserole dish was baking. “Dinner smells good,” Dean commented as he popped open a beer. 

“Chicken and dumplings, and green bean casserole,” Sam said. 

Sam and Dean sat at the kitchen table, drinking beer and catching up. Soon, Bobby came in from his work in the garage and went to clean up, and Jo appeared to help them set the table. 

The Christmas holiday went better than Sam had expected. Maybe he was finally carrying himself with enough maturity that they respected him, or maybe Dean’s obvious work stress was taking precedence. Christmas morning came, and presents had been opened, Christmas dinner over, and the family was lounging around in post-holiday lethargy before they found out what the case that had Dean so discombobulated was. 

“Murder? Dean Winchester, was there a murder?” Ellen exclaimed suddenly, looking up from her phone. 

“Dammit. Someone gossiped,” he grumbled. “We’re waiting on forensics. Probably gonna do the press release tomorrow, didn’t want to do it on the holiday.” He rubbed his hand across his face. “Body was found behind a warehouse yesterday morning. It ain’t pretty.” 

“I heard there was a body found. Figured maybe homeless, drugs, somethin’ like that,” Bobby said. “So it’s definitely foul play?” Dean leveled a look at Bobby that spoke volumes of the things he’d seen. 

“Any ideas who or why?” Ellen asked. 

Dean sighed deeply. “Ellen, you know I can’t…” 

“Fair enough,” she said. “Well there’s all kinds of rumors on the internet, just so you know. Most are sayin’ young girl. Everything from kidnapping to hooker to jealous boyfriend situation.” Ellen eyed Jo warily. “I’d just really like to know if it was personal or if someone’s targeting young women.” 

“Well I don’t expect Jo to listen to me, of course, but I would appreciate it if she didn’t go out alone anytime soon.” Dean said firmly. 

“Oh, great,” Jo sighed. “Thanks for ruining my whole damn vacation, shithead. Love how I can’t have a social life ‘cause I’m a girl.” 

“Don’t be dramatic,” Ellen said. “You’re not grounded. You tell me what you wanna do and we’ll discuss limitations and reasonable… oh fine, flounce off then!” Jo was already most of the way up the stairs, pausing only long enough to throw a balled-up paper napkin at Dean. 

The rest of the week went by in a blur. Sam drove Jo and her friends to the mall, to each other’s houses, and to a nightclub on Friday night. He’d volunteered to do it, hoping that was a little easier on Jo’s social life than having to have Ellen or Bobby accompany her everywhere would have been. He patiently ignored the flirting and overt passes that a few of the girls made when Jo was out of earshot. They were nice enough, but he still remembered most of them as bratty kids with braces and skinned knees, and even if they were nice enough girls, he just didn’t have any interest in them. 

Dean came over every evening, though it was increasingly later. The investigation just didn’t seem to be going anywhere. Sam could tell it was really weighing on Dean, and Dean had confided in him that he had a gut feeling that this wasn’t just some one-off, and that if he didn’t catch the person someone else would die. It was disappointing that Dean wasn’t getting his planned vacation week off to spend time with him, but all Sam could do was hope that the case would get solved soon. 

Sam got a few texts from Gabriel. He had a good Christmas, he said. His brothers got him nice gifts, and Mike eventually stopped nagging him about joining the company. Cas had gotten a compound bow and they went to an indoor range and shot it. Sam was relieved that Gabe’s family drama had seemingly settled down. However, the next texts that he got from Gabe would destroy that idea and bring back all that worry full force. 


	5. Chapter 5

On New Years Eve, Sam was dutifully laying out the napkins and plates for the buffet when his phone pinged a text message. He dumped the forks in a pile and checked it. 

Gabe: Hey just letting u know, Cas and me are heading back to Lawrence tonite. See ya next week. 

Sam frowned. -Everything okay?- he texted back immediately. He started putting the chafing dishes together, but soon dropped it again to check the next message. 

Gabe: Hah, no. It’s bad enough that Cas is even splitting for a while. Tonite is gonna be bad here, too much booze, already pissy w each other. Not stickin around 4 that. 

Sam sighed heavily. He imagined Cas and Gabe making the long drive back to Lawrence just to spend New Years Eve sitting in Gabe’s apartment, watching the ball drop on TV alone. “Ellen?” Sam said, poking his head into the kitchen. Ellen was in the height of holiday cooking at the moment, stirring things on the stove, barking orders at Jo, flying around like she had six hands. She glared at him. 

“My friend- he and his brother, they, um, their family is- they’re not having a happy holiday and they really need to get out of their house and-” 

“YES invite them to the party,” Ellen said. “And make sure those Sterno cans are full.” 

Sam grinned and ducked back into the living room. -Please come here. You and Cas. We’re having a party tonight and we’d love to have you- he texted back to Gabe. -if you’re not already halfway to Lawrence- he added. He looked over at the dessert table, already laid out with Christmas cookies and candies on Ellen’s prettiest trays. Impulsively, Sam snapped a photo of it and texted that to Gabe too. 

Gabe: Oh Sam, that is beautiful. You’ve won me over. Omw. 

Sam couldn’t help but grin stupidly at his phone at that. He texted Gabe the address. 

“You’re texting up a storm and looking like a doofus at your phone,” Dean said suspiciously. He was sitting on the couch, somehow exempt from party prep duties. 

“Shut up, Dean. Why aren’t you helping? You’re not doing anything,” Sam groused, gesturing to Dean’s closed laptop on the table. “You just want Ellen to think you are so you don’t have to cook.” Dean had been putting in long hours on the murder investigation, but they still didn’t have a suspect. The case had been tabled until the new year, and Dean was off now, though he was still antsy over it. Sam really shouldn’t have goaded him about it, but Sam also didn’t want to be questioned about his texting habits. 

“I cooked,” Dean said defensively. “Wait til you taste my meatballs.” 

“Suddenly I’m vegetarian,” Sam said, making a grossed out face. 

“Bitch,” Dean replied. 

“Jerk,” Sam mumbled, kicking Dean’s foot as he walked by to return to whatever task Ellen had for him now. 

Sam found himself anxiously watching out the front window as he continued to help ready the house. Of course, there were dozens of people due to arrive that he was eager to see. Most of the family friends of his childhood would be in attendance, at least dropping by as part of their New Years Eve schedule. Sam helped Ellen press dough into pans for mini tarts filled with ham and cheese, helped Jo roll cooked cabbage leaves around hamburger and rice, set up the aluminum pans filled with hot delicious food on the warming trays, and even bravely tasted Bobby’s chili. They mixed eggnog, mulled apple cider, and put dozens of beers in a bucket of snow on the patio for easy chilling. 

Soon, friends were trickling in. Sam greeted people, hugged, mingled. He was so distracted that he missed the knock at the door until Jo was answering it. Sam glanced across the room and the rest of the room seemed to fade out as he saw Gabriel standing in the doorway in a festive sweater. Their eyes met, and Sam grinned and strode over toward him. 

“Gabe, I’m so glad you made it,” Sam said, ushering him in. “Cas, good to see you again. Jo, this is Gabe and Cas. Guys, this is my sister Jo.” He went through the introductions on autopilot, sneaking as many looks at Gabriel as he could manage without being obvious. Gabe looked absolutely radiant. Sam wished he could stare his fill but he knew that he had to content himself with stolen glances. 

“Well come on in, drinks are in the kitchen, food over there. Make yourselves comfy.” Jo turned to go back to her friends, satisfied that she’d done the bare minimum of hospitality. 

Sam was so busy basking in Gabriel’s presence that he hadn’t noticed Dean drop his drink when the brothers had walked in. After a quick clean-up of the spilled eggnog, Dean made his way over to the newcomers. “Sam. Who are your friends?” he asked. Cas looked at Dean. Dean licked his lips. Neither looked away. 

“Dean, this is Cas. And. And Gabe. Gabe- Gabe and I met in Lawrence and…” Sam trailed off. It didn’t seem like Dean was really listening. 

“Glad you could make it,” Dean said. “Let me get you a drink.” He touched Cas’s elbow and led him toward the kitchen, leaving Sam and Gabe to stare at each other in confusion. 

Sam steered Gabe through the party, introducing him to people as well as giving him a tour of the house. He wanted to ask about what had happened at home, but he decided against it. Maybe it was better to just have a fun time tonight and give him the opportunity to talk tomorrow. 

They eventually made it to the kitchen, after half an hour of introductions and conversations. Gabe seemed to get along well with everyone and quickly became a pretty popular addition to the party. When they walked into the kitchen, Dean and Cas were seated in the window seat in the breakfast nook, so close they were pressed together at the hip, their heads bowed low in conversation. Dean was holding Cas’s hand in his and studying his fingers. Neither one noticed their brothers staring. Sam quietly dipped cups of the mulled cider from the pot on the stove and handed one to Gabriel. They slipped back into the living room. 

“That’s… interesting…” Sam said when they were out of earshot. “I didn’t think Dean… I mean maybe I sometimes suspected but… Dean’s always had a lot of girls, you know?” 

“Huh. Well Cas hasn’t had much luck one way or the other. He’s had exactly one girlfriend and it ended disastrously. Other than that… I dunno, I always thought it was that he was too awkward and afraid to talk to people. Never really got the impression that gender figures into it much. Not that he’s ever said anything to me. Just a hunch.” 

Sam didn’t say anything after that, and they wandered quietly to the buffet and fixed plates, then sat on the floor and ate while they watched the television coverage of the various New Years concerts. Sam decided that Dean’s meatballs were actually pretty good, but that he probably wasn’t going to tell him that he thought so. 

The evening went by pretty quickly, with much of it spent talking to Gabriel. They briefly joined the Cards Against Humanity game in the den, then wandered to the patio for beers. This time Dean and Cas were nowhere to be found. They circulated through the party again. Sam chuckled at how Gabe seemed to snag a piece of candy or a cookie every single time they passed the dessert table. 

“Hey everyone, it’s nearin’ midnight!” Ellen announced. “Get yourself a drink and a kissing partner!” 

“Find a friend and smooch on the cheek if you gotta,” Bobby added. 

Sam glanced around the room. Most of the people who were still lurking around were attached. Even Jo, not that he wanted to kiss his sister, was standing with some friend that Sam didn’t recognize. 

Gabriel was standing by the dessert table, picking at the chocolate covered cherries. He looked baffled at Ellen’s announcement. Maybe a little scared. He, too, was scanning the room, looking for a potential kissing partner, perhaps? Then he spotted Sam standing near the doorway from the foyer, and relief flooded his face. He walked over to Sam. 

“Your mom is really serious about the kiss at midnight thing, huh?” 

“She says it’s bad luck if you don’t. But if you want to escape, you can duck outside for a while. I’ll cover for you.” Sam gestured to the front door, behind him and around the corner. 

“I guess you have a kiss already lined up, huh?” Gabe said. 

“No, actually, I’m probably going to have to go hide too,” Sam laughed. “Or I’ll grab whoever… these are all my friends and I can handle a kiss on a cheek. But you shouldn’t get saddled with kissing a stranger if you don’t want to.” 

“You’re the only one here who’s not a stranger.” Gabriel looked at him. Just then, the countdown on the TV began. “Ahh crap, I think we’re out of time.” 

Sam could feel Ellen’s eyes on him as the countdown finished. Finally, as the cheering crowd yelled “three, two, one!” Sam impulsively leaned down to kiss Gabe on the cheek. They were friends after all, nothing weird about that, right? But Gabe turned in to the kiss and brought their lips together before Sam even knew what was happening. His lips were soft and he tasted like candy and beer, and Sam wished it would never end. But just as soon as it had begun, the kiss was over. “Happy New Year, Sam,” Gabriel said, his face still just inches away. 

“You too,” Sam said. “I… I should just… you know, go say Happy New Year to everyone else.” 

“Of course,” Gabe said, studying Sam’s face carefully. “Make your rounds, I’m just gonna go grab another beer.” He glanced away and took a deep breath. When he looked back at Sam, he was all carefree smiles again. 

Just after Gabriel walked away, the door behind Sam opened and Dean and Cas walked in. They looked decidedly rumpled, Sam noted. Dean’s shirt was barely tucked into his pants, and his coat was slung over Cas’s shoulders. Sam blinked in astonishment. 

“Did you get a midnight kiss, Dean?” he asked, looking at the two of them pointedly. “Jeez, where were you two?” 

“Dean showed me his car,” Cas said, his mouth quirking into a smile. He touched Dean’s arm and their eyes met. They held the gaze, unblinking. 

“I’ll bet he did,” Sam said, holding back a laugh. 

“Shut your face, Sam,” Dean said, but there was no bite to the words. He looked at Sam, searching for something in his face. Sam gave him a smile that he hoped conveyed how okay this was with him. Dean nodded at him ever so slightly. “C’mon Cas, let me get you something. You hungry?” 

“Yes,” Cas said. He tucked his hand in Dean’s elbow and they walked toward the buffet table. 

Sam stood there stunned for a few moments. He knew his brother very well and there was no mistaking his “just got laid” swagger. Had Dean just wordlessly come out to the family? Ellen had done a double take when the two of them walked by. Bobby was openly staring. Sam felt the buzz of conversation in the room, and it felt like everyone was talking about Dean. It didn’t help that Dean paused in the doorway and grinned at Cas until Cas came over and kissed him under the mistletoe, a proper kiss with Cas’s hands cupping Dean’s face and Dean’s hands on Cas’s waist. It wasn’t dirty exactly, but it was clear that they meant it. 

Jo appeared at Sam’s side. “Sam, did you know?” she hissed. 

“I know nothing,” Sam replied. “But I really think we shouldn’t pester him.” 

“Nah, you’re right,” Jo said. Dean and Cas had fixed themselves heaping plates - Clearly they had worked up an appetite, Sam thought, then immediately wished he could erase the thought from his brain. While they ate, they stood chatting with Barb, the woman who had driven the school bus when they were in high school, and her husband. Dean seemed to be steering the conversation, introducing Cas to them, telling some anecdote or another with smiles and laughter. “Jeez, how serious are they?” Jo muttered. “He’s introducing this guy like he’s part of the family. When did you say you all met?” 

“I, uh. I should go check on Gabe,” Sam said. He went down the hallway to the kitchen, but Gabriel was nowhere to be seen. Instead he found Bobby and Ellen deep in discussion as they cleaned up the party mess. Sam tried to back out of the kitchen, but he’d already been spotted. 

“Sam, my boy,” Ellen said. “Come talk to us.” She was pressing sheets of tin foil over dishes and handing them to Bobby to be placed in the fridge. 

“It was a great party, Ellen,” Sam said. “The food was-” 

“Did you know your brother was was _dating_ this _guy_?” Ellen interrupted. “Why didn’t you warn us when… did he put you up to buggin’ me for the invite instead of just blurting it out himself? Was he just gonna hide this forever? And why the hell did he decide to- to act like that, not even say a word, just...” she grunted in frustration and turned back to her work. 

“I hope he doesn’t think he couldn’t tell us,” Bobby said, his gruff voice thick with sadness. “Does he really think we’d… be like that about…” 

Sam ran his hand through his hair nervously. He really didn’t want to admit that Dean and Cas had just met that night. He wasn’t sure if Dean would want that to be known, maybe have them worry about the suddenness of this all. “I don’t know…” he started stammering. 

Ellen turned toward Sam again. “Well did you know about… you know, that he was… how could no one have told us?!” 

“Well we can’t blame Sam,” Bobby said. “Not his job to tattle.” 

Sam felt a lump of sadness rise in his throat. Tattle? Tattle implied that someone was doing something wrong. Bobby and Ellen might be willing to begrudgingly live with one of their kids being queer, but maybe not exactly be happy about it. 

“I’m just worried about his career,” Ellen said. “He just got that promotion, he’s got a good thing going in the department, but he’s got this case still open and people are antsy enough about that. And now the whole town is gonna know-” 

“And the whole town can fucking bite me if they don’t like it,” boomed Dean’s voice from the doorway. He walked into the kitchen with Cas close behind him. “Thanks for your, uh, _concern_ Ellen, but I think I’ve got this.” 

“You know we just don’t want you getting hurt, son,” said Bobby. 

The sliding glass door to the patio opened and Gabriel stepped in, a snow-covered beer bottle in his hands. He glanced around the room, feeling the tension he’d just walked into, and debated walking back out into the snow. 

“I have no intention of hurting Dean,” Cas said. His blue eyes were steely. “Do you have similar objections to Sam and Gabriel’s relationship, or is it just Dean who has the expectations of the whole town upon him?” 

Sam and Gabriel stared at each other across the room, wide eyed. 

“We’re not…” Sam began. Surely Gabe had told Cas at some point that the ruse had been started just to keep Lucian from creeping on him? Why would Gabe let Cas keep thinking that? 

“Sam and I are just friends,” Gabe said firmly. “Sorry if there was confusion- Cas, I know bro, I know I said… but we’re not dating or anything like that. Just friends.” 

Cas and Gabe shared a look between them, of hurt and confusion and sadness and apology. Dean touched Cas’s elbow. “Hey. Come on. Why don’t we get out of here?” he said softly. 

“Good idea,” Cas said, still staring at his brother. He nodded and let Dean lead him out of the room. A few moments later, they heard the engine of Dean’s car roar to life and drive away. 


	6. Chapter 6

A tense quiet descended over the kitchen. Ellen turned toward the sink and began angrily scrubbing a pan. Bobby picked things up and put them down randomly, a stunned look on his face. Sam grabbed the box of plastic wrap and went to the living room to work on covering the baked goods on the buffet. A moment later, Gabriel came in with the broom and the dustpan and started to sweep the floor around the tables, which was littered with crumbs and food bits. 

“You don’t have to clean; you’re company,” Sam protested. 

“Bah. Professional habits and all that. No biggie.” 

Jo was gathering up dirty plates and empty bottles from around the living room and den. She had completely missed the scene in the kitchen. “Mr Vandermeyer is asleep on the sofa,” she said to Sam. “He’s obviously not driving home tonight. I put a blanket over him and grabbed his keys to give to Mom.” 

“Good job,” Sam said. “I’ll make sure to put a water within reach of him.” Jo continued on to the kitchen to deal with the garbage. 

“So, uh, Gabe,” Sam said. “Sorry, I guess… looks like the sofa is out of the question but… you’re welcome in my room, of course.” 

“Same deal as last week? Shall we argue over who takes the bed until we wind up sharing it?” 

Sam laughed. “I guess we could just skip that.” He took the full dustpan from Gabe and turned toward the kitchen to go empty it for him before his face could give him away. Sharing a bed again, with the guy he had a crush on but who just wanted to be friends? What a way to start the year. Sam wasn’t sure whether to be thrilled or terrified or melancholy about the experience. He settled for all three at once. 

Ellen was sitting at the kitchen table when Sam went in. The food had all been put away and the counters wiped down, and Bobby was nowhere to be seen. She had half a bottle of champagne in front of her. “Hey,” Sam said. “Everything’s pretty much done, I’m going to sleep now.” 

“‘Night, Sam,” she said. She sounded tired. “This guy staying with you, is he?” 

“I… yeah, it’s fine, Ellen. It’s not like that, I swear.” Not as far as Gabe was concerned, anyway. 

“Right, right. Bobby did mention that you have a new girlfriend.” Sam felt the panic rise in his chest, preparing for a barrage of questions that he had no answers for, but Ellen didn’t ask him anything else. He slipped out of the room without incident. 

Sam’s bed was queen sized and bedecked with a variety of pillows. Gabriel made himself a comfy nest with a bunch of them and settled down easily under the thick duvet. Sam sunk into the other side of the bed, sighing with exhaustion. I should talk to Gabe, he thought, though he could feel consciousness slipping away already. 

It was full daylight when Sam awoke. He rolled over and groaned. He was achy everywhere, but most especially his head. He didn’t think he’d drank all that much - a few beers, a few cups of cider spiked with a little rum, an eggnog. Clearly it had been enough. He was just thinking about getting up to find some painkillers and water when the pillow beneath him squirmed. 

“Mornin’ to you too,” said Gabe’s voice from somewhere beneath the pile he’d rolled into. 

“Sorry!” Sam mumbled, shifting back. “Ugh, my head.” 

“Poor Sam,” Gabe said sympathetically. “Hang on a second, I gotcha.” He threw off the covers and got up, as chipper and well-rested as anything. He padded out of the room softly, then returned a moment later with a paper cup of water from the bathroom and a few tablets in his hand. Sam sat up and took them gratefully. 

“You’re such a good friend,” Sam said. “Hopefully I can keep those down and not barf on you.” 

“I’ve got faith in you, kiddo,” Gabe said. “Give it a bit to kick in before you try to go anywhere.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, one knee bent up, his hands clasped in front of it. He was wearing flannel pajama pants an his feet were bare. 

Sam stared at Gabe’s foot. My god, he even has cute feet, he though. I should tell him, Sam thought. I should tell him how I feel. But when he opened his mouth, what came out was “Do you want to talk about what happened with your brothers?” 

Gabriel sucked in a breath. “Yeesh. Well it’s the usual, disagreements over business decisions that always start it. Mike wants to run everything, and he’s actually pretty good at that business stuff, from what I can tell. But he doesn’t want Lucian to have any say in anything, which hardly seems fair. There was some kind of project deal this week… they were bickering about stuff constantly, I don’t know what. They kept dragging Cas into it too. I guess I hadn’t realized how bad it had gotten there for him. Mostly he’s just been doing secretarial stuff, helping clients with questions, stuff like that. But I guess… sometimes the stuff Mike sets him to do, he doesn’t think is right but… if he speaks up against it… it doesn’t go well for him.” Gabe sighed and started picking at a spot on the comforter. “Well so yesterday morning, I woke up to chaos. Mike and Lucian were fighting in the kitchen. I mean, throwing dishes at each other, throwing punches, shoving each other around the room. Mike tried to drag Cas into the fight. Then Luci had him by the arm… I was pretty scared, Sam. I tried to talk to Luci, get him to calm down. Sometimes he’ll listen to me, but he was too far gone. But when he grabbed me and slammed me into the cabinet-” Sam made a distressed noise at this. “Well, it was enough for Cas to get out of there. And then I slipped out too. We both just grabbed as much of our shit as we could and got into Cas’s car.” He shrugged. “I guess I figured he can stay with me, look for a job in Lawrence. If he wants to. But I’m afraid he’s just going to go back once he thinks it’s all blown over. I can’t exactly make him stay away.” 

“I’m so sorry,” Sam said. He wanted to lean over and pull Gabe into a hug, but the vague nausea he still felt and the distance across the bed made him hesitate. Instead, he reached out and placed his hand over Gabe’s and gave it a squeeze. 

“Thanks, Sam,” Gabe said. “It’s really nice, having someone I can talk to about this.” 

“Anytime, man,” Sam said. They exchanged a smile, and again Sam was tempted to confess. But the moment felt too heavy, Gabe was already dealing with so much. He doesn’t need this crap right now, Sam thought. He doesn’t need me upsetting him. 

Sam burrowed back into the covers and patted the nightstand for his phone. “Shit, it’s 10:30 already,” he mumbled. “I guess I should try some breakfast.” 

“If you think that’s wise,” Gabe said skeptically. But he followed Sam down the stairs, slowly and cautiously. Gabriel started opening cupboards until he found where the coffee was kept. He pulled the packages out and sniffed them appraisingly, finally choosing one and approaching the drip coffeemaker. Sam dropped into a chair and watched Gabriel move around the kitchen. 

“You just make coffee no matter where you are, huh?” Sam said. 

“I do the best I can, Samster,” Gabe said. 

“It is very, very appreciated,” Sam assured him. When he at last wrapped his hands around the warm mug and sipped the fresh brew, he moaned in relief. He was so focused on the cup of coffee that he didn’t notice the look on Gabe’s face at the sound, nor him clutching the edge of the counter until his knuckles were white. 

Sam didn’t raise his head again until he’d drained the cup in slow, careful sips. When he looked up, Gabe was standing near the patio door, staring out across the snowy yard. Sam went to the bread box and found English muffins and popped one into the toaster. “Hungry?” he asked. “Sorry I can’t cook, but there’s these, cereal, leftovers. Feel free to rummage around.” 

“Leftover cookies would actually be perfect, don’t mind if I do.” He peeled back the plastic wrap on the platter and snagged an assortment. “Wonder if I should check on Cas.” 

Sam snorted as he pulled his English muffin out of the toaster and spread Nutella on it. “I think they’re busy, Gabe.” 

“Gross, but true. I think I’m gonna shoot him a text though. Kinda worried about the kid. Not- not that I think your brother isn’t a great guy, just… yesterday was kind of a roller coaster ride. And I really fucked up by not explaining to him about us.” He pulled out his phone and started typing. He didn’t volunteer why he hadn’t told Cas the truth, and it didn’t occur to Sam to ask. 

They had finished eating and were on second and third cups of coffee by the time Gabe’s phone buzzed. Gabe snickered when he read it. “Says they’re fine. He’ll talk to me later.” 

“So I guess this makes us family now,” Sam said with a little smile. 

“Fated to meet so our bros could get together?” Gabe asked, quirking an eyebrow. 

“Something like that.” 

“Well I’m glad we got to be friends, all that aside. And if Dean and Cas are happy together, so much the better.” He raised his mug, and Sam lifted his with a smile and clinked them together. Their gazes locked as they silently toasted their friendship. Gabriel’s eyes looked so soft and affectionate, and for a moment Sam wondered if he wasn’t alone in this feeling. Should he say something? 

“Is that coffee I smell?” said a shaky voice from the hallway. A man walked into the kitchen. He was in his sixties, thin and tall, with gray hair and mustache, in a rumpled sweater and slacks. He rubbed the side of his head. 

“Morning, Mr Vandermeyer,” Sam said. “Let me get you some coffee.” He pulled a mug from the cupboard and splashed the last of the coffee into it, and placed it on the counter next to the sugar bowl and the creamer and the bottle of ibuprofen. The old man made use of all of them gratefully, and accepted Sam’s offer of toast and jam. They chatted while he ate, catching up on all the gossip about the guys from the deer hunting club that he and Bobby participated in, and small talk about Sam’s law studies. By the time he’d finished, Bobby and Ellen had gotten up. He politely refused the offers to stick around for brunch later, and headed home. 

They spent the afternoon watching TV and playing board games. Sam was relieved that Gabe seemed quite comfortable with the family, though he felt a bittersweet pang that he wished it was as a boyfriend he was introducing Gabe to the family. But after the disaster that Dean and Cas had experienced, maybe it was just as well. Whatever these feelings were, Sam wasn’t ready to tell his whole family, though he ached to talk to Dean. 

As the afternoon dragged on, Gabe checked his phone periodically, with increasing agitation. After yet another fruitless glance, he set it down with a sigh. “I’m really sorry to impose on you guys so long. I’m kinda stuck until…” he trailed off. No one had mentioned Dean or Cas yet, and it hung like an uncomfortable elephant in the room. Sam could tell that Bobby and Ellen were both stressed about it and most likely hoping to ignore it until it all blew over, probably hoping that Dean would call them in a few days or so and pretend nothing ever happened. Sam wondered if he really would, or if this was too big. 

“It’s okay,” Sam said. “I mean, I have to head back tomorrow anyway. Back to work the day after for me. So… I think it’s fine if you want to stay here tonight and just go to Lawrence with me tomorrow.” 

“Absolutely,” Ellen agreed. “Glad to have you.” 

They were setting up the board for Scrabble when Sam’s phone chirped a text alert. It was from Dean. -Yo, Sammy. How’s it going?- 

Sam quickly typed a response. -Good here. Playing games. How are you guys?- He hesitated a moment before finally hitting send. He wanted to somehow convey his support, but he just didn’t know how to bring it up. Not in a text, anyway. -We could hang out?- He added afterwards. 

-We’re good. Yeah okay. Gabe too? Head on over whenever. Both of you- Sam glanced up from his phone and noticed that everyone was waiting for him. He built ‘peas’ onto Jo’s ‘rose’. 

Gabe went next and added ‘slip’ on the ‘peas.’ “Oh, um. I do have to pick some stuff up before tomorrow. Gabe, you want to head out with me after this game?” 

“Nothing’s open today,” Bobby said. “Unless you need cheese doodles from the Gas n Sip, you’re shit outta luck.” 

“Walmart,” Sam said. “I need sheets. And a laundry basket.” 

“Don’t you have a Walmart in Lawrence?” Jo asked. 

“I don’t have any time to do anything in Lawrence,” Sam said. That part was true. 

Unsurprisingly, Gabe won Scrabble. They went to the kitchen to put on boots and coats, and Ellen followed them out there, and handed Sam a wrapped-up pie. “You tell that fool that none of this changes what we think of him, okay? Or, at least let the pie tell him.” 

Sam smiled. “He does listen to pie.” He kissed her on the cheek and headed out to his car, followed by Gabriel. 


	7. Chapter 7

It was a short drive to Dean’s apartment. He lived in a little residential neighborhood, in a two bedroom apartment above a garage that was nestled in an alleyway between houses with little fenced in backyards like so many postage stamps. Sam parked his car tightly against the garage door. He could see the dark gleam of Dean’s car through the windows. The Impala was safe and snug in her little nest, surrounded by shelves and boxes, tools and equipment of all sorts. Sam let himself in the side door and climbed the rickety wooden stairs that led to Dean’s door. Gabriel followed him, the pie held carefully in his hands. 

Sam knocked, and Dean opened the door and let them in with a smile, though there was still wariness in his eyes. 

“Dean,” Sam said warmly. “Good to see you. Happy New Year.” He followed Dean down the narrow hallway and into the kitchen, Gabriel close behind him. 

Gabriel handed Dean the pie. “It’s from Ellen,” Sam added. He couldn’t think of what else to say. Get too real with the conversation and Dean would just shut down. 

Dean set the pie down on the counter and a little tension seemed to go out of his shoulders. He glanced quickly at Sam, then back down at the counter. “Cas is in the living room, if you wanna go in,” he said to Gabe, gesturing to the doorway. Gabe gave a little salute and headed in, taking the hint easily. 

Dean leaned against the counter and folded his arms across his chest. “So this is cool with you?” he asked. Sam blinked in surprise. Direct, honest discussions were definitely out of the ordinary. 

“Of course, Dean!” 

He nodded thoughtfully. “And you’re not pissed that I didn’t tell you, or something?” 

Sam shrugged. “Why would I be? I mean, it’s not about me. It’s up to you, man. I would have… I would have been by your side if you’d told me at any point, you know. Just… just so you know.” 

“Guess I just had to tell myself, first,” Dean said. “Well look, I won’t bore you with this crap. Let’s get back to the movie. John Wayne movie marathon today, Sammy.” 

Sam groaned, but he followed Dean into the living room. It was a small room, like the rest of the apartment. It just fit an entertainment center, a cozy recliner, and a smallish plaid sofa. Gabe was sitting in one corner of the sofa, and Cas was perched on the edge of the recliner. Sam paused for a moment, wondering if he was going to need to squeeze in the middle of the sofa, but Dean plopped into the recliner and pulled Cas into his lap like it was the most natural thing in the world. Cas snuggled against him, and Dean wrapped one arm around his waist and picked up the remote with the other. “Now, where were we?” 

“The Alamo,” Cas responded. 

“Dean, you’ve seen this like a hundred times,” Sam protested. 

“Well good, that means when you blabber through the whole thing I won’t miss anything.” He responded to Sam’s scowl with a cheeky grin. 

“What Dean means is, if we don’t have to pay attention to the movie, it will better facilitate having a conversation without worrying about the plot,” Cas said with fond annoyance. 

“Yeah, that too,” Dean said. “So, uh, listen guys… babe, did you tell him…?” 

“Ah, not yet, no,” Cas said. “Gabriel… I still intend to give you your ride home, but then I will be returning to Sioux Falls to stay here. On the bright side, you don’t need to squeeze me into your apartment, which I understand is smaller even than this one.” 

Dean cleared his throat. “I’d appreciate it if no one felt the need to point out how ridiculously fast this is.” 

“Wasn’t gonna,” Sam said. He glanced over at Gabe, whose brow was furrowed in concern. 

“Long as you’re sure, baby bro,” he said at last, his voice tight. “And I’ve always got a place for you. But hey, I’m all for you making your own decisions, kid.” 

“Thank you, Gabe,” Cas said. 

“And you don’t need to worry about the ride,” Sam added. “Gabe and I are just gonna head back together tomorrow.” He stared at the TV screen, pretending to be engrossed in the action on the screen, rather than meet Dean’s eye. If he so much as looked at Dean, Dean would know just how utterly gone for Gabriel he really was, and he’d probably speculate that their denial of a relationship was actually a lie. And Sam just couldn’t bear to have Dean think that when he so badly wished it was true, and he knew that it couldn’t be. Even without looking at him, Sam could feel Dean staring a hole into the side of his head, and he could feel the moment the scrutiny was turned on Gabriel, trying to unravel something from him. Dean may have only been a detective a short time officially, but he’d been practicing on Sam for years. 

Eventually they took a break from the movies, had pie and coffee, and sat around the tiny kitchen table laughing and telling stories. 

“We should probably head back soon,” Sam said as he watched Dean eat his third piece of pie. “They’ll expect us to show up for dinner.” He sipped his coffee as he carefully pondered his words. “You two could-” 

“Nope. Uh-uh,” Dean cut in before Sam could even finished. “You mean well Sam, but no. It’s gonna take more than a pie.” 

Dean and Cas walked them out to the car. Dean paused in the garage, fiddling with a nonexistent speck on the trunk lid of the Impala, and Cas and Gabe continued outside, as if they’d planned it. “Sammy,” Dean said. “You okay? You’re really quiet, and I know you said all that crap about not caring that I- but it’s hard not to feel like it’s…” 

“Dean, no. No, please don’t think that. Yeah, okay, there’s something going on with me but it has nothing to do with you or Cas.” 

“Does it have to do with Gabe?” Dean asked. “Listen, if you two are…” 

“No. No!” Sam exclaimed, his cheeks burning. “Dean, I can’t-” 

“Has he been… putting moves on you? Moves you don’t want?” Dean’s voice had a dangerous edge to it. 

“No,” Sam said firmly. “Nothing of the sort. But, um… look, how much has Cas told you about Mike and… Lucian?” 

Dean’s face darkened. “Oh, he’s said plenty. Christ, Sam, did Lucian hurt you? Because I swear, badge or no badge I will end that motherfucker-” 

“It wasn’t that dramatic. Creepy, gross, but Gabe got me out of that scene pretty fast.” 

“Oh crap! And that’s why Cas thought you two were… okay, now it makes sense.” Dean clapped Sam on the shoulder. “Don’t forget, you’re always my little brother and I’ll do what it takes to look out for you, okay?” They exchanged a smile, and then Sam pulled Dean in for a quick hug and thump on the shoulder. 

“Same goes for you, you know. Anyone gives you any crap and I’ll throw down. You’ve gotta keep your hands clean, Detective.” 

“Yeah but so do you, Mr Future District Attorney.” 

Cas and Gabriel were standing next to Sam’s car when Dean and Sam finally went outside. Gabe was ruffling Cas’s hair mercilessly as Cas grinned and ducked away. 

“Stay in touch, you guys,” Sam said as he climbed in the car. 

“Yeah, if you come up for air every once in a while, take a moment to text us?” Gabriel added, leaning out the window. The last glimpse Sam got as he drove away was Cas squinting at Gabe and Dean rolling his eyes. 

Dinner at Bobby and Ellen’s was stilted and uncomfortable again. Everyone knew that Sam and Gabe had gone to Dean’s apartment, and no one was willing to mention it. There was almost no safe topic of conversation to be had. Sam was glad when dinner was over and they could claim exhaustion and head to bed again. 

“I could go sleep on the sofa if you want your space,” Gabe offered as he plumped the pillows. 

Sam shrugged. “Plenty of room here. Bed’s more comfy than the sofa.” 

“Twist my arm,” Gabe said, crawling beneath the covers with a yawn. 

“Anyway, I’m used to sharing this room with Dean. For years and years I had a crappy bottom bunk and Dean snoring and farting above my head. When he got that apartment and I upgraded to this thing, it was like heaven.” 

“Do you think they’re all gonna learn to get along again?” Gabe asked. “I gather that your parents may have said some dumb things… what’s the likelihood on them apologizing?” 

Sam sighed. “Bobby, maybe… sort of… Ellen will have to… they’ll probably have to get in a screaming match first and then she’ll get all emotional and apologize. But in order for any of that to happen, Dean has to cave enough to at least come back here. And I think he’s… protective of Cas, not wanting to get him in the middle…” 

“And I really appreciate that. Kid’s been through enough. Buuuut he’s also gonna probably feel guilty as hell if Dean stays in a tiff with the fam over him, you know?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I think we just give it time. If I really have to, I’ll get between, I guess. Maybe by Dean’s birthday. Three weeks, that is. It’s three weeks away. The 24th. If he doesn’t let Ellen bake him a cake and all that crap, then it’s serious.” 

They chatted until they drifted off to sleep, in the middle of a sleepy discussion on alpacas versus llamas. Sam woke up at 4:30 with Gabriel’s legs wrapped around his. Sam’s cock was so hard that it was almost painful. The fragments of a dream about Gabriel straddling him, all golden and hot and naked, played at the edge of his memory. Sam froze. He was so close that a mere touch would probably get him off. Gabriel was still sound asleep beside him. Quickly, Sam threw off the covers and extracted his legs and staggered to the bathroom. 

Gabe slept soundly. He was still asleep when Sam crawled back into bed, a cloud of shame hanging over his head. Maybe he should focus on finding a girlfriend when he got back to campus, he thought. That would be distracting. Get him over this obsession. Maybe he could fix Gabe up, maybe one of the grad students. But the thought left a sick, angry feeling in his stomach, and Sam abandoned that thought and tried to sleep. 

It wasn’t until Gabe rolled over and threw an arm around him that Sam was able to fall asleep again. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some trigger warnings here for sexual assault and stalking. Proceed accordingly!

Sam pulled the car into a Gas n Sip just south of Omaha. The parking lot was packed full of post-holiday travelers. He finally found a parking spot at the back, near the dumpsters, and they went inside. 

Sam once again got an assortment of snacks and drinks for them. He watched Gabriel carefully as they walked around the store together, and he stuck the things in the basket that Gabe seemed to be eyeing up the most. They walked up to the register together, but Gabriel said “hey, I’m gonna hit the head, meet you at the car?” 

“Sure thing,” Sam said. Maybe he felt self conscious to stand around while Sam bought their snacks? He paid and headed outside to wait in the car. Sam fumbled his key into the lock of the old Toyota. Just as he was about to pull the door open, he felt someone grab his shoulders firmly and press up behind him. 

“Well what do we have here? I track my brother’s cell phone to this store and I find you out here all alone instead. Not bad,” Lucian purred against his ear. He leaned against Sam, curling around him, pressing the front of his body against the cold metal and glass of the car. “C’mon Sammy, let me show you a good time. You’d be so much better off with me than with my dorky kid brother. I’ve got the money and power and knowledge that he… just doesn’t.” 

“Get off of me,” Sam said. He tried to shout, but his voice just came out as a hoarse bark, his chest too tight to put any breath behind it. He couldn’t quite make himself squirm and twist away and fight like he wanted to; his limbs just would not obey. He feebly jammed his elbows back, but couldn’t even connect with anything. Lucian just laughed. And then his hand was at Sam’s throat, and sliding down inside his shirt. His fingers were chilly, like ice running across Sam’s skin. His other hand went to Sam’s waist and he started fumbling with the snap on Sam’s jeans. 

With a sudden burst of strength Sam twisted around, forcefully enough to dislodge him. Sam swung a punch at him while he still had the element of surprise, and connected with his nose. Another punch, in the gut this time. Then the face again. Sam was vaguely aware that his hands were bleeding as he kept hitting, but he was beyond caring. Lucian staggered against the dumpster and then dropped to his knees. 

“Who needs you, you ugly shithead!” he blubbered angrily, swiping at the blood dripping from his nose. 

“Sam!” said Gabriel, sprinting around the corner. “Holy shit- Luci- did- you miserable piece of shit!” He aimed a kick at his brother’s side. “We need to get out of here. Sam, come on, get in the car. Let me drive. You’re in no shape to drive.” 

Sam got into the passenger seat without thinking, just obeying Gabriel’s voice. Gabriel quickly got them out of the parking lot and back on the highway without attracting any more attention to themselves. 

“Hopefully that asshole goes home and doesn’t… how in the fuck did he find you?” 

“He said he tracked your phone,” Sam said. 

“Motherfucker!” 

Several more exits down the road, they stopped in a shopping center that had a cellphone store and Gabe selected a new pay-by-the-month phone and ditched the old one that had been on the family plan. He texted Cas, suggesting that he do the same, though he kept the details of what had happened light. Sam didn’t want Dean to find out the extent of what had happened and do something stupid that would cost him his badge. 

They finally got back to Lawrence well after nightfall. Gabe didn’t ask, but he drove them to his apartment and parked Sam’s car at the curb. “Stay here tonight?” he offered. 

“We’re really making a habit of this,” Sam said with a tired chuckle. 

“I like being around you. You’re a good friend, Sam,” Gabriel said. 

“So are you,” Sam answered. “I’m glad we’ve gotten to spend all this time together, honestly. I…” It was on the tip of his tongue. But he was tired and overwhelmed and he just trailed off without saying it. 

Inside the apartment, Gabe sat at the kitchen table and cleaned Sam’s hands with peroxide and gauze and put bandaids on the worst of the abrasions. 

“I don’t think I’ve thrown a punch since middle school,” Sam said ruefully. “Guess I forgot how.” 

Gabe’s bed was a tight squeeze after Sam’s. There was a sofa, but neither of them mentioned it. Sam just crawled into the bed next to Gabriel, and immediately began trembling. 

“Hey, hey,” Gabriel murmured softly. “You’re safe now.” 

“I know I am, but I don’t feel it,” Sam said. 

“Can I give you a hug?” Gabe offered. “I understand if you don’t want…” But Sam was already burrowing against him. Gabriel put his arms around Sam, stroked his hair softly, and murmured comfort to him until he fell asleep. 

It felt like all was right with the world when Sam woke up cuddling with Gabriel. As he got up, stretched, and got dressed, he thought sadly that this was probably the last time. He’d be back in his dorm tonight, and what excuse would either of them have to sleep together again? 

“I’ve got work at 9,” Sam said. 

“Mm. Let me make you coffee.” Gabriel got up and padded to the kitchen. He was wearing flannel pajama pants with bacon, eggs, and toast printed on them, and a t-shirt advertising a local diner. 

Gabe had a little stovetop espresso brewer, and soon he presented Sam with a double shot. 

“Mm. Still perfect,” Sam sighed. 

“Flatterer,” Gabe said, but his eyes sparkled with the compliment. Sam decided to make it a point to compliment him often, because the sight was truly beautiful. 

Sam headed off back to campus soon afterward, with a promise that he’d stop by the cafe soon. After work he hurried through unpacking from the trip, grabbed a quick dinner at the dining hall, and headed over. He sat at the counter while Gabe went through the closing routine. It was a good opportunity to watch him moving around without looking too much like he was staring creepily. 

“So, uh. I got a text from Mike. He said that Luci came home with the crap kicked out of him, wanted to know if I had any idea what it was about. I didn’t text him back.” Gabe sighed. “Anyway, I guess he agreed to check himself into rehab. Again.” 

Sam knew that this should make him feel a little better, but his heart started racing and he felt the prickle of anxiety up and down his spine. He couldn’t even lift his gaze from the tabletop, or say anything in response. Gabriel’s hand, warm and slightly damp, closed over his and squeezed. “Hey. It’s okay,” he said. 

“Of course,” Sam said. “I- I should… I should go and…” 

“Is your roommate still away for the holiday?” 

“What? Yeah, the dorms are a frigging ghost town. There’s barely a handful of us.” 

“Come hang out at my place. Don’t be alone, not while… give this a while to… Sam, it’s okay to have trouble dealing.” Sam could feel Gabriel’s eyes, warm with concern, on his face. Finally he flicked his gaze up to meet them. 

“Yeah, okay,” Sam said. 

Sam had walked to the coffee shop from campus, and they walked together from the shop to Gabriel’s apartment. It was about a half mile, and just cold enough that it was kind of annoying. He was glad when they stumbled through the door, rubbing numb fingers. 

“You need something hot. Not coffee, though,” Gabriel pronounced. He pulled out a saucepan and spices and soon there was gently warmed red wine in a mug in Sam’s hands. It was delicious with cinnamon and nutmeg and an orange slice. 

“Oh Gabe, you are magic,” Sam sighed, closing his eyes as he sipped. 

“Glad you like, kiddo.” They sat at the tiny kitchen table, sipping wine together in companionable silence. They were a few glasses in when Sam felt the wine loosening his tongue. 

“What is wrong with me, Gabe? Why did I let him… I didn’t like it, I swear.” He was on the verge of tears again. 

“What are you talking about, Sam? You beat the tar out of him,” Gabe said. 

“At first, I couldn’t. I just… I just froze, I was..” he waved his hands helplessly. 

“You were scared. Shocked. It’s normal to freeze at something like that, Sam, I promise you.” Gabriel’s hands cupped Sam’s cheeks, his thumbs brushing the tears that trickled down. “Shh, shh. Come on, let’s get you to bed. I think you’ve had enough wine.” 

Gabriel walked him to the bedroom, then turned to leave. “Wait,” Sam protested weakly. 

Gabriel stopped and turned back toward him slowly with a sigh. “I’m just going to put stuff away. If you want me in here with you-” 

“You know I do,” Sam said, a little more forcefully than he’d intended. “I don’t think I know how to sleep without you now.” 

Gabriel looked at him with a curious expression. Sam realized he’d said too much. How could that be mistaken as anything else. But after a long pause, Gabe just chuckled. “I think you’ll be fine. It’s just a rough night for you. You’ve been drinking, your dorm is empty... better for you to be here with a friend. You’ll be back to yourself soon enough.” 

Gabe went back to the kitchen, and Sam heard him rattling around as he stripped off his jeans and his sweatshirt and crawled under the covers in his t-shirt and underwear. He realized that he was only wearing skimpy briefs tonight instead of his usual boxers. He almost panicked and pulled his jeans back on, but the wine was making his limbs heavy and he just laid there. He fell asleep to the thought of curling around a similarly barely-dressed Gabriel, and he wondered if tonight would be the night that he made his move, the wine making him braver and stupider than usual. 

Sam woke up to pee in the middle of the night and found himself still alone in the bed. Gabe was sleeping on the couch, burrowed in a pile of blankets and pillows. He’d obviously chosen to make himself a bed there rather than come lie next to Sam. That hurt more than Sam would have thought it would, and he crawled back into the bed with tears on his cheeks. 


	9. Chapter 9

Over the next few weeks, Sam continued to spend his free time at the cafe, or elsewhere with Gabe if he wasn’t working. They went ice skating at the rink in the park, bowling, and to see a movie in the theater. Sam even went to Gabe’s apartment a few times, but never to drink, and he always left well before he started to get tired. Alone in his dorm bed, Sam would curl up around his pillow and wish he was holding Gabe in his arms. 

They compared notes on the news from home. Mike had told Gabe that Lucian was doing well in a new residential rehab facility, though Gabe remained skeptical that it would work. Neither Mike nor Cas had mentioned it to Gabe, but Dean had told Sam that Cas had been asked to come home, and had turned Mike down. He’d been job hunting in Sioux Falls, though nothing had panned out for him yet. “I’ll take care of him as long as he needs though, you know, Sam? I think… I think he’s the one.” 

Sam smiled. “I’m glad this is working out for you, man. Hey, so, um… Bobby and Ellen…” 

Dean sighed. “No, Sam. I got… I got some texts from them, just like… shooting the shit, asking me to come out for dinner - and just me, didn’t even mention Cas - and nothing about anything that happened.” 

“Dean, I don’t think they know how to start that conversation. I don’t think they know what they said wrong. I think you’re gonna have to be the one to…” 

“I just can’t right now, Sam. Just drop it, okay?” 

“Fine, fine. So um. How’s work?” 

Dean snorted. “Right from one kick in the pants to the other, huh?” 

“Sorry, sorry, I just…” 

“Yeah no, still nothing on that case. I’ve got some… compelling evidence, but short of a witness coming forward, I can’t see… yeah, and it’s not just me. At this point we’ve had half a dozen people work this to no avail. So at least no one’s questioning my abilities but… it still sucks. There’s other stuff that’s going well. Big drug bust last week. I got to go undercover and hang out with some real winners.” 

“Sounds terrifying,” Sam said. 

“Aw, it was great, Sammy. Got those scumbags behind bars, a lot of fentanyl and heroin off the streets, keeping people safer out there, it was a good day at work for me. Hey listen, I gotta go. Cas is making dinner and it smells amazing.” 

“He said he couldn’t cook!” Sam exclaimed. 

“Yeah, he’s been teaching himself all this stuff to make my favorites. I’m so spoiled, Sam. Between the food and the conversation and the sex…” 

“Yeah okay we’re done. Good bye, Dean.” Sam swiped the hangup button on his screen and flopped back onto the bed. 

A week later, he was enjoying the last weekend before classes began. He and Gabe were at a bar playing foosball with a couple of guys that Sam barely knew from classes, but Gabe had instantly become friends with. It was amazing how he did that. After the game was over they went to grab beers and get a table together, but one of the guys, Seth, whisked Sam off to play darts. 

“Give them a minute,” Seth said with a smirk. He handed Sam a handful of darts. “I’m playin’ wingman tonight, and I can tell Bill’s into your friend.” 

Sam blinked. “Oh. Uh. I think… I mean, Gabe’s straight, though.” 

“Is he?” said Seth, in a tone of disbelief. 

“Well yeah. I mean, he’s never said…” 

“Oh, Sam,” snorted Seth. “C’mon, throw the dart. Maybe your aim’s better than your gaydar.” 

Sam snuck glances toward the two every time he had a chance. Gabe and Bill, sitting at the bar, chatting over beers. They both seemed to be having a good chat. Maybe it was just that, Sam thought desperately. Even when he looked over and Bill was tracing his fingers across the back of Gabe’s hand. That hand that held Sam when he cried, that helped shovel his car out of the snow, made his coffee, wrapped around him on those nights in bed together. Sam felt rage boiling in his chest, and he knew it was irrational, but how dare another guy touch that hand? He threw the next round of darts with his jaw clenched in anger and frightening accuracy. Even Seth looked nervous. When Sam glanced back over to the bar to see if Bill was still touching his Gabe, they were both gone. 

He had to get out of here. Wordlessly, he handed the rest of the darts to Seth, threw cash on the table for his tab, and grabbed his coat from the chair. He stomped all the way back to his dorm in the snow, thoughts of choking the life out of Bill keeping him warm. By the time he got to his building, the rage had subsided into hurt, and he sobbed as he walked up the stairs. 

So Gabe had been into guys. Just not into him. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry.
> 
> (I'm not actually the slightest bit sorry)

Sam didn’t go to the cafe all that week. Classes began on Tuesday, and even though there wasn’t much coursework yet his schedule was pretty full. He was also planning a trip to Sioux Falls on the coming weekend for Dean’s birthday. Ellen had said that she was making Dean’s birthday dinner same as always, and ‘if that damn fool doesn’t want to show up and eat it that’s his business.’ Sam knew that it was time to get in the middle and broker the peace. 

Friday afternoon he threw his backpack in the car and drove northward, armed with a paper cup of truly awful campus dining services coffee. He wondered what interesting new stuff Gabe was cooking up. They’d been working on expanding the soup and sandwich offerings at the cafe. Last week Sam had been invited to be the first to taste the minestrone and caprese sandwich combo, as he’d been hanging around after hours when Gabe had been experimenting. Sam’s enthusiastic review had convinced Anna to add it to the weekly rotation, and he was supposed to stop by today for the first official day of the special. 

-hey, we’re closing soon- came the text from Gabe at 6:54, the computerized voice reading it aloud as Sam drove. -I can stick around tho. Lmk if you’re on the way- 

“Maybe Bill likes soup and sandwiches,” Sam muttered darkly. He didn’t send a reply text, though. 

Next, a photo popped up on the screen. Guiltily, Sam tapped it to expand it. It was the chalkboard on the cafe counter. There was a chalk portrait of him, just a simple sketch but obviously him, sipping soup from a spoon. A steaming bowl and a sandwich on a plate dominated the picture. “Try the Sammy” it said, and underneath it listed details of the food items and the price for the combo. 

Sam snapped his eyes back to the road, but it was hard. He wanted so badly to reply. Did Gabe really do that drawing? Was it his idea or Anna’s to name it after him? And then, that dark voice again, wondering what Bill was getting named after him. 

Bobby and Ellen met him on the porch with hugs, and a kiss on the cheek from Ellen. Jo was at work until 9. She’d just started a new job at a boutique in the mall and was loving it. “Or at least, loving spendin’ her whole paycheck there,” Ellen grumbled. They ordered pizza and put sitcoms on, though no one really paid attention. 

“So… you gonna get your stubborn ass brother to come over here for his big day tomorrow?” Bobby asked. 

Sam inhaled slowly. Diplomatic, he reminded himself. Tactful. “I’m here to help with that. But, uh. You guys… it would… I think that Dean needs for you guys to apologize, first. I think that Dean felt judged by your reaction. And not very… not very accepted.” 

“Oh come on now!” Ellen exclaimed. 

“That’s not at all how it was, Sam, you were there,” Bobby said. “We- we didn’t say…” 

“It ain’t nothing about him preferring men,” Ellen said. “Heck, we don’t care about that. We’ve never been the kind of people that stuck our nose in anyone’s business over that.” 

“It was the surprise of it all,” Bobby said. 

“The suddenness,” Ellen added. “Those two.. they hardly know each other, and from what I hear he’s living with him now. Just moved him right in.” 

“He don’t even got a job,” Bobby added. “Mrs. Weakes says he’s there 24/7.” 

“So, um.. Guys, I think this is part of.. It’s…” Sam rubbed his temples. “Dean feels unhappy with you spying on him, asking his neighbors about his private life, talking about… what you think he should or shouldn’t be doing. This… this kinda stuff has to stop. If you want to be able to repair your relationship with him, I mean. Just… don’t offer any opinions about stuff unless he asks for it.” 

Bobby and Ellen looked at each other. Bobby was frowning, Ellen looked stunned. They both seemed to be doing that silent communication thing. Sam picked up his beer and headed up to his room before anyone decided to shoot the messenger. Let them digest and talk to each other. Either it’d get better or it would stay the same. 

He felt tired, weary in his soul, and he longed to text Gabriel. Then he remembered that he’d been ignoring Gabriel’s texts all week and he wasn’t even sure if they were still friends. Gabe had done nothing wrong, of course. Sam sat on the edge of his bed and stared at the floor. It was all his fault, his stupid jealousy. Gabe had been a great friend to him and as soon as he had a romantic interest, Sam ditched him without even a word. “I hate myself,” Sam muttered, and he took another long swig of beer. He stayed in his room drinking in the dark and basking in his self-loathing, even after Jo came home and everyone else went to bed. 

Sam woke early the next morning. Ellen was already up and in the kitchen when he came downstairs. She was mixing something in a bowl and the counter was cluttered with ingredients. She even had the radio on and was humming along. 

“Pancakes?” Sam asked hopefully. 

“Nope. Dean’s birthday cake. He asked for cherry chocolate when I spoke to him on the phone last night.” 

“Oh?” Sam said. “That’s good to hear.” He kept his voice neutral, but he wanted to shout for joy. He hadn’t had a lot of hope that his intervention would work this well. 

“Mmhm. Him and Cas’ll be over at six for dinner. But they said you could feel free to stop by earlier, if you’re inclined. He said something about laser tag.” 

Sam headed over to Dean’s after breakfast. He stomped his way up the stairs, hoping that would be sufficient to announce his arrival, just in case there was anything going on that he really, really didn’t need to see. 

Walking into the kitchen to find Dean and Cas engaging in naked shenanigans would not have surprised Sam in the least. Dean had never been fussy about when or where, and Sam had walked in on him with more girls than he could count. Walking into Dean’s kitchen to find Gabriel standing there was entirely more shocking. 

“Sam! They said you might stop by,” Gabe said. He was scooping something out of a baking dish onto a plate. It smelled breakfasty. “Our bros are in the living room. Apparently Dean is subjecting Cas to action movies, and Cas is letting him. Hey, there’s a ton of this breakfast casserole stuff that Cas and I made, if you want.” 

“Oh no thanks I’m, uh, I’m full.” Sam felt his sullen anger dissipate as he watched that one bit of golden hair flop over Gabriel’s forehead. He’d missed that, as well as a million other things about him. 

“Missed you this week. Guess this is what the semesters are like for you, huh? Hope you can at least make a little time for me.” Gabe was watching him carefully, and Sam had the creeping feeling that his thoughts had been heard. 

Sam shrugged. “At least a little,” he conceded. “But you… I’m sure you have other people you’d rather spend your time with.” 

Gabriel squinted at him. “Sam. I assure you, there is no one I’d rather…” He trailed off awkwardly as Dean walked into the kitchen. 

“Hey, Sammy’s here!” he exclaimed. 

“Happy Birthday, Old Man,” Sam said gleefully, stepping forward for a hug. “Not bad for… what is it, fifty-three?” 

“Shut up, you pain in my ass,” Dean said affectionately, pounding Sam on the back. “You’re more of an old geezer than I am, any day.” 

“Oh that’s a shame, are you both too elderly and infirm for laser tag?” Cas asked. 

“You know damn well I’m not,” Dean growled as he turned to pull Cas against him. “Sam and I are gonna trounce you guys,” he murmured, inches away from Cas’s lips. Sam rolled his eyes at the PDA, though he had to admit they were cute together. 

“Come on you two, let’s just get going,” Gabe sighed, putting his plate in the fridge. “So Cassy and I can show you just how greatly you underestimate us.” 

They decided to take two cars. Dean’s beloved Impala was feeling under the weather, awaiting the arrival of some part that Bobby had ordered and Dean hadn’t wanted to contact him to pick up or work on it, so Cas drove Dean in Cas’s little BMW. Sam took Gabe with him. Cas and Dean drove off first and Sam followed. He was worried that the trip would be all awkward silence, but of course Gabe was just as chatty as always. He could fill any silence and make it seem normal and pleasant. Sam found himself smiling and laughing along, just as they had always done. 

There was a lull in the conversation and Gabriel fidgeted for a moment before he cleared his throat. “Hey, um. Sorry I left so suddenly on you last week, by the way,” he said. 

Sam shook his head. The ache of jealousy in his chest flared up again. “You don’t need to apologize. You have every right to hook up and leave the bar without-” 

“Sam! Oh my god, no. I didn’t hook up with anyone.” Gabriel snorted a shocked laugh. “I mean, I was definitely getting hit on there, don’t get me wrong. I am a hot commodity after all. No, I just… I can’t explain it, kiddo, I just needed to get out of there after that. He was a nice enough guy, but...” 

Sam inhaled shakily and struggled to concentrate on driving. Gabriel hadn’t gone home with Bill. “So you… you weren’t interested in Bill? I… I told Seth that you probably wouldn’t… being straight and all.” 

Gabriel hooted. “Oh now I wouldn’t go that far.” 

The air in the car suddenly felt charged with electricity. He could feel Gabe’s eyes on him, though he couldn’t look over to confirm that or see what revelations those golden eyes held. They were approaching a red light and Sam was slowly braking, slowing down to stop behind Cas and Dean. But something was wrong. Very, very wrong. Cas should have been slowing down; they were almost at the intersection. But Cas wasn’t slowing down at all. They were sailing right through the red light and into the intersection, and Sam watched in horror as Dean leaned across the car and grabbed something, probably trying to downshift. Had something happened to Cas to render him incapable of driving? Sam could only stop at the red light and watch as Cas’s car was struck in the back quarter panel by cross traffic, then slid into the adjacent parking lot, finally stopped by striking a concrete pylon for the parking lot light, just behind Dean’s door. It looked like Dean had jerked the wheel to do that, to avoid them hitting the shoppers ahead, or hitting anything on Cas’s side. Typical Dean, Sam thought. Protective mode, thinking of himself last. The awful crunching, squealing, shattering noises rang in Sam’s ear over and over again for what felt like forever as he waited for everything to stop moving and tried to figure out what to do next. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Little bit gory. Not too bad, I don't think.

Desperately, Sam made the right on red, then swung left into the parking lot and pulled as close as he could to where Cas’s car had stopped. Adrenaline carried him from the car toward Dean as he sprinted the last few yards. The rear passenger door had taken most of the hit of the concrete pylon. Between that and the other car, the back corner of Cas’s car was demolished. But thankfully, the front door did not look as bad. 

Sam wrenched Dean’s door open and leaned in. “Are you okay?” Sam asked. Dean was turned away from him and leaning over Cas, touching his face, his shoulders, frantically but tenderly checking him over. Cas was slumped back in his seat. He looked conscious but dazed, his blue eyes wide and glassy. He didn’t even look over when Gabe appeared at his door. 

Dean glanced over at Sam. “I’m okay, Sammy,” he assured. “Cas, sweetheart, please talk to me - he’s so out of it, Sam, I don’t-” The panic in Dean’s voice was heartwrenching. All Sam could do was to put a hand on Dean’s shoulder and just stand there. Through the car he could see Gabriel pull open Cas’s door and crouch close by. 

“Dean,” Cas gasped. “Dean I’m sorry… it wouldn’t stop, I…” he trailed off. His eyes darted over to Gabe, then he went back to staring into space. Sam noticed that Dean had the airbag in front of him, now deflated and hanging on his knees, but the airbags on Cas’s side did not appear to have gone off. 

“I think we lost the brakes, angel. I need you to keep talking to me- We need an ambulance, Sam, did anyone call-” But they could hear the approaching sirens in the distance; someone had clearly called it in. “Sam, make sure they take the car in for forensics.” 

“You think someone did this to you?” Sam said. A chill ran down his spine. Brake failure and driver’s airbag failure combined was unlikely to be a coincidence. 

“Hurts to breathe,” Cas moaned. “My chest.” His face was growing pale and sweaty. 

“You hit the seatbelt pretty hard, babe,” Dean said. “Stay still, okay? We’ll get you to the hospital asap.” He held Cas’s hand gently, his thumb stroking the back of his hand. 

“I don’t even know if I have insurance anymore,” Cas said. 

“Don’t you even think about worrying about that,” Dean said. “You are going to focus on healing up from this, you hear me?” He glanced across to where Gabe was picking bits of safety glass out of Cas’s hair and shirt collar. There was blood on Cas’s sleeve, not a lot but it was obvious that his arm was bleeding somewhere. His left wrist was cradled against his body and bent at an odd angle. Sam noticed that Gabe’s fingers were bloody, and then he noticed the blood trickling down the left side of Cas’s face. That must be why the window was broken; he’d hit it with his head. The bright red blood ran down under his ear and dripped onto his shoulder. Gabriel was murmuring something low to him. Tears shone on his cheeks, and he looked as helpless and lost as Sam felt. 

An ambulance and a police car pulled into the parking lot at the same time. Another police car had pulled near the wreckage on the road, though they didn’t seem to be in as bad of shape. A man was out of his car there, surveying the damage to his vehicle. Gabriel stepped back and waved the EMT’s over to Cas’s side. The police officer approached from the front, blinking in surprise when she saw Dean’s face through the window. She came around to his side. 

“Detective Winchester! Are you alright? What the hell happened?” 

Dean grimaced. He glanced at Cas and then stepped carefully out of the car. Sam held out his arm for support, but Dean refused it. “It looks like someone tampered with my boyfriend’s brakes and the airbags,” Dean said in a low voice. “We don’t need word of this getting around or anything, but… consider it an investigation.” 

“Holy shit,” she muttered. “Okay, I’m going to make a phone call and get the chief out here.” 

“Please,” Dean said. “Send a car over to my parents’. Just… near enough to keep an eye on things. And have someone give my brother a ride- don’t argue, Sam- and tow his car to get looked at just in case.” 

“Dean, I don’t-” 

“Sam Winchester, I will arrest you for being an idiot and then I will kick your ass. I do not need your shit right now,” Dean growled. In the interest of not stressing Dean out further, Sam sighed and threw up his hands in defeat. As much as he hated Dean pulling rank and controlling him, he didn’t have it in him to make this horrible situation any worse for his brother. 

“Anyway, I’m going to the hospital to make sure your dumb ass gets checked out, too,” Sam grumbled. 

“Fine,” Dean said. The medics had Cas in a neck brace and oxygen mask and were carefully strapping him onto a backboard. Gabriel was standing just a few feet back chewing on his fingernails. 

“You’re his brother, right?” one of the medics said to Gabriel. “You can ride in the front seat.” 

“I’m going with him,” Dean said as they loaded the stretcher into the back of the ambulance. 

“Family?” The medic looked between Dean and Gabe. “Well I’ve only got one passenger seat, figure out quick who’s going.” 

Dean pulled his wallet out and flashed his badge. “Detective Winchester, Sioux Falls PD. I’ll be riding in the back with him.” 

The ambulance crew didn’t look very happy about it, but they let Dean climb in and sit at the foot of the bench seat. “Cas, I’m right here,” he said. Cas’s eyes were closed now and he gave little sign of consciousness, though he made a tiny half smile at the sound of Dean’s voice. Dean watched anxiously as they bustled around him, hooking up machines and IV’s. Gabriel climbed up into the passenger seat, looking very lost. 

“I’ll be at the hospital as soon as I can,” Sam said. He grabbed Gabe’s hand and gave it a squeeze, then shut the door for him. He wanted to say something comforting, but he just stepped back and watched as the ambulance put on the siren and wheeled away toward the hospital. 

Sam stood in the parking lot for what felt like forever. The patrolwoman collected as much information as he could provide, between what he knew and the documents he pulled from the glove box. Tow trucks arrived, one for Cas’s destroyed car, one for Sam’s. Both would be locked in the impound yard, until investigators could collect evidence from Cas’s, and Sam’s could be checked for any tampering. Sam still wanted to argue, but he had a feeling that Dean’s paranoia might be more on the nose than usual. Maybe it was best to just be extra cautious. 

Finally, the police chief arrived. He was paunchy, gray haired, and deadly serious. He collected the clipboard from the patrolwoman and stepped over to talk to Sam. 

“Your brother thinks this was a deliberate attack? Do you think someone is targeting your family?” 

“I guess it’s possible. Dean did say he… um, I guess there was a big drug bust recently?” 

The chief grunted. “Huh. We pretty much cleaned out their operation but… well I’ll see if we can dig up any that are still around that might have a grudge. I’m also going to go go through security footage. Quite a few of your brother’s neighbors have cameras. If someone tampered with the car, it’ll be there.” 

The patrolwoman who had initially arrived on the scene to help them was assigned to drive Sam to the hospital. Emily, as Sam found out, was only in her second month on the job and not very sure she liked it. 

“I thought it would be more like TV. Less like traffic tickets. Or this… exciting, but not a fun exciting.” 

“I guess you get used to it eventually,” Sam said. “I think being a lawyer is probably going to be the same. As long as I can help people, I think it’ll be okay.” 

The emergency room was a confusing tangle of corridors and rooms and alcoves. Sam finally found his way to the treatment bay where Cas lay, still strapped to a board with wires and tubes everywhere. Gabe was on one side of him, spinning back and forth nervously on a low padded stool. Dean stood near his head, stroking his hair gently and singing in a low voice. The lights were dimmed and Cas’s eyes were open and fixed on Dean’s face. 

“Any news?” Sam asked, coming to stand beside Gabriel. 

“He just got back from scans and stuff. If everything’s good spine-wise, they’re going to free him from some of this crap. Very mild concussion they think, got a couple of staples in his noggin. They say it looks worse than it is. Arm is definitely broken; he’s got a temp splint there and is probably going to get pins tomorrow or the next day. Um, what else? Lots of bruising. Maybe a cracked rib. But his lungs are good, no major organs damaged. It could have been so much worse.” 

“I feel pretty wretched,” Cas said. 

“I’m sorry, man,” Sam said sympathetically. Dean leaned over and kissed Cas’s forehead tenderly. 

“Though I’d probably feel worse if it wasn’t for all this affection,” Cas admitted with a smile. “So there’s that. And my brother’s terrible jokes. And the ridiculous things he does with rubber gloves.” 

“That sounds soooo wrong,” said Dean. 

“Oh Dean-O, you have no idea,” Gabe said, with a twinkle in his eye that gave Sam a flip-flop feeling in his stomach. 

“I’d like to keep it that way,” said Dean. “Also, if you make Cas laugh and hurt himself, I will clean up this floor with your face.” 

Sam glanced back and forth between them. They seemed to have settled into a comfortable level of banter, like cats fighting with sheathed claws. 

“Don’t worry Dean, he’s just not that funny,” Cas said. 

A few people in scrubs came in, and Sam shuffled out of the way. They cleared Cas to be removed from the back board, though he was to remain in a soft neck brace. “You may not be feeling it quite yet, but you have a pretty good case of whiplash. Soft collar for at least a few days,” the doctor said. “We should have you out of here in a few hours. Just waiting on a few more things.” 

“Dean,” Sam said. “Have you been checked out yet?” 

“I’m fine,” said Dean, glaring at Sam. 

“Dean, please let them at least check you over,” Cas said. “I’d feel so much better.” 

Dean exhaled a long exasperated sigh. “Fine.” He walked out toward registration. 

Several hours later, Dean had been examined, and released. Cas was sitting up in the bed, still looking pale but less awful than he had at the scene, waiting for his final release paperwork. Follow up visits were scheduled, referrals made, prescriptions written. People shuffled in and out with paperwork and instructions, which Dean seemed to be taking charge of. 

Sam had settled on an uncomfortable plastic chair just behind Gabriel. At first Sam had just sat there relishing the nearness, the faint whiff of coffee and cologne, the energy that seemed to swirl around him, especially when he was anxious. On the wheeled stool, Gabriel was still fidgety, and he slowly wheeled himself closer until their knees touched. Sam looked into his eyes and swallowed hard. Gabriel was looking at him with such open adoration that he couldn’t fathom how he hadn’t seen it before. Cautiously, Sam took his hand and laced their fingers together, resting their joined hands on his knee. Nothing was said by either one, and Sam knew that conversation needed to happen, but he could feel that they were something different than what they had been all this last month. 

Dean and Cas were deep in conversation and hadn’t seemed to notice a thing. “At least we can still make it to your birthday dinner,” Cas said. “It’s only five now.” 

“Cas, are you crazy? We’re going home so you can rest!” Dean exclaimed. “Don’t worry about my stupid birthday.” 

“Who says it’s about you? I was promised cake,” Cas said. “You’re not denying me cake, are you?” His lips twitched in a smile. 

“You’re impossible, angel,” Dean sighed. “Fine, we’ll head over- oh shit! Sam, did you tell anyone what happened?” 

“Uh, no.” 

“Guess we’re going to roll in with a hell of a story,” Dean said. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a long chapter this time, I just couldn't figure a way to split it down.
> 
> Also, I feel like I should maybe apologize for that ending, but we all know I'm not really sorry.
> 
> We're in the home stretch, though!

Dean had made some phone calls during the long wait, and a rental car had been brought over for him, a big comfy four-door Buick. They carefully loaded Cas into the passenger seat. Dean fussed around him, trying to make him as comfortable as possible, then went around to the driver’s seat. Gabriel climbed in behind Cas and looked over at Sam. His hand rested on the seat between them, and Sam was itching to hold it, he knew he was being invited to hold it, but he kept his hands in his own lap. Dean was focused on Cas’s comfort and the driving, and was unlikely to notice, but Sam felt self-conscious about the idea of holding Gabe’s hand while sitting right behind their brothers. He gave Gabriel a little smile, hoping that would soften the rejection. He was rewarded with a soft smile, maybe a little wistful, but Gabe’s eyes were still warm. 

They walked into the Singer home just before six o’clock, the balloons and streamers that greeted them a stark contrast to the somber exhaustion that hung over the four of them. Dean took charge of explaining to the family what had happened. Bobby and Ellen took the news that they were under protective surveillance fairly well. Jo looked scared. Sitting across from Cas, with his scalp stapled, neck braced, and arm in a sling made it clear that there was a very real threat to the safety of anyone connected with Dean. 

Sam sat across from Gabriel, and he had to fight to keep from staring at him through the entire dinner. He was suddenly acutely aware that he wasn’t ready for his family to find out anything about whatever this was. Gabe was focused on Cas more than on Sam, making sure that he was tolerating things well, though he gave Sam the occasional prolonged gaze that set Sam’s heart to pounding again. Sam felt sure that someone must be noticing this, but no one said anything. He didn’t even get a raised eyebrow from Ellen. The majority of the dinner conversation was about the car crash, and most of the attention was on Cas. His pitiful condition probably went a long way toward softening Bobby and Ellen’s feelings towards him, as their protective and nurturing instincts toward their kids seemed to suddenly encompass Cas. It was a sliver of silver lining in this crappy situation. Maybe once this was all better, this whole family would be fine with each other again, Sam hoped. Then maybe, just maybe, there would come a point where he could tell everyone about himself, and about him and Gabriel. 

There was an unspoken agreement that they would make dinner go as quick as possible. No one lingered over their plates or asked for seconds. Soon, Ellen was clearing the table, and Sam scrambled to help her. Cas was putting on a brave face but he seemed tired, and it only became more obvious the longer he sat at the table. 

Ellen carried out the birthday cake and placed it in front of Dean. Nothing fancy, it was a round layer cake frosted in chocolate, with thick piping around the edges, and a pool of cherry pie filling on the top of the cake. Ellen stuck a single candle in the center and they sang Happy Birthday. Gabriel’s voice was loud and distinct and went straight to Sam’s heart, and he found it difficult to focus on his brother, who sat there with a self-conscious grin as they sang to him. At last he was blowing out the candle. With his arm around Cas and a soft look on his face, it wasn’t hard to guess what he might have wished for. 

After only a few nibbles of cake, Dean and Gabriel glanced at each other behind Cas’s shoulders. Cas was drooping, like a plant in need of water. A sheen of sweat covered his forehead. 

“We’re getting you home, angel,” Dean said firmly. 

“Okay,” Cas said weakly. With another coordinating glance, Dean and Gabriel had their arms around him and they slowly walked him out the door between them. 

“You’re pretty strong, short stack,” Dean grunted. 

“Only when I’ve gotta be,” Gabe replied. 

Ellen wrapped up the rest of the cake and followed them out to the car, barking orders to Jo to grab Dean’s presents and stick them in the trunk. 

“I think I should go with them to help,” Sam said. “I’ll probably just crash on the couch tonight.” He watched as Dean and Gabe once again carefully arranged Cas in the car. 

“Probably a good idea,” Bobby grunted. “Tomorrow I’ll pick you up and we’ll head over the impound yard, go over your car with a fine tooth comb. I doubt if… but, Dean wants to be careful, might as well be careful. No one coulda gotten up to any shenanigans here without me noticing.” 

“Still, check over everything, the fences, the security system,” Sam said. 

“Don’t you worry about that, Son,” Bobby said. 

“Rest up, Cas. We’ll redo this family dinner thing in a few weeks,” Ellen said as Dean and Gabe took their seats. She reached through the window and patted his cheek. “I’m real glad you’re not any worse off.” 

“Thank you,” Cas said, his voice strained with pain. Dean gave a little wave and they drove off. 

The short drive to Dean’s house seemed to take forever. Dean flipped the radio to a soft rock station and was singing along to the types of cheesy love ballads that Sam had always known him to turn off in disgust. The pained expression on Cas’s face seemed to lessen as Dean sang. He was just professing that the color deep inside Cas’s eyes was like blue suburban skies when they pulled onto the parking pad in front of Dean’s door. 

“Those stairs are going to be a bitch,” Gabe said fretfully. 

“We’ll manage,” Dean said. He looked at Sam and nodded toward the stairs, and Sam took the cue to run up and open the door at the top. The stairs were too narrow for three abreast, and so Dean took on helping Cas up, one painful step at a time. Gabriel followed anxiously. “I’m getting him right to bed,” Dean said, and they headed straight through the kitchen toward the bedroom. 

Sam and Gabriel stayed in the kitchen. Suddenly, they were alone and Sam had no idea what to say. He glanced at Gabriel, who had hopped up on the counter in front of the toaster and sat there, gently swinging his feet. Gabriel, too, looked like he wanted to say something, but neither seemed quite able to start. Sam pulled a soda out of the fridge and opened it and leaned back against the counter. The bottle was cold and condensation dripped down his fingers and he focused on that feeling as he tried to think of how to start this conversation. 

“I like you a lot, Sam,” Gabe said at last. “For a long time, months ago, I would notice every time you came in. I was crushing on you bad. You’re so cute and I always thought you had this… quiet stillness, but something- something deep and huge inside of you. So much more than anyone I’ve ever known. And then… all this stuff that’s happened, getting to know you, and you were even better than I had imagined. I thought- I thought I was being pretty obvious how I felt, but maybe not?” 

Sam shook his head. “I had no idea. I thought it was just me, crushing on my new friend like a jerk.” 

“How long?” 

“That first night in your bed. When I woke up and looked at you, I realized that I was a goner.” 

Gabriel sighed. “I was so afraid that I’d scare you off. That I’d be creepy. Especially after my shitty brother- I was terrified I’d cross a line, like maybe I was no better than him. And then, that last time you slept at my apartment… Oh Sam, I wanted you _so bad._ You seemed kinda flirty, which I figured was the wine, and I thought that if I didn’t keep my distance, it would end up with us doing something regrettable.” 

Sam nodded. “Something probably would have happened, yeah. And maybe it would have gotten awkward and confusing… I’m glad we’re talking about it instead of just, um... Even though, that night I was really upset. That you didn’t want to be near me. And then last week at the bar-” 

“Ugh, don’t remind me! Believe me Sam, I am an idiot and I hadn’t even realized that to you it would look like I went home with that guy. I wasn’t trying to make you jealous, I swear.” He smiled, his eyes twinkling. “Though I am pretty happy that you like me enough to get jealous.” 

Sam chuckled. “I do, Gabe. So much, I- can I kiss you?” They had been shifting closer together through the conversation, Sam realized, and Gabriel was now just inches away from him. A gentle nod from Gabriel, and Sam reached out toward him. He touched Gabriel’s face gently, and Gabe leaned in to his touch. Their eyes met and Sam held his breath. He leaned closer and closer, until their noses were touching and he was falling into those honey brown eyes. He could feel Gabe’s breath against his lips. 

“Kiss me, Sam,” Gabe whispered. He put his hands on Sam’s waist and pulled him in, and Sam tilted his head and brought their lips together. It was as sweet as he’d remembered their New Years kiss, but instead of a quick chaste ending, it accelerated. They fit together perfectly. Gabriel’s lips parted and deepened the kiss, and Sam took the invitation to explore with his tongue. Gabe’s hands tightened on his waist and pulled him even closer, bringing Sam to stand between Gabe’s parted knees. He tasted so good, and Sam slid his hands into Gabe’s hair and moaned. 

They were both gasping for breath when they finally pulled apart. “Dear god, your mouth is amazing,” Gabe murmured. “I hope we’re going to do a lot more of that.” 

“That is… yeah… in my.. my plans,” Sam stammered, his fingers tracing over Gabe’s face. He was just about to lean in for another kiss when he heard the bedroom door. For a moment he’d forgotten where he was. Guiltily, he jumped back and scrambled to the other side of the kitchen, banging his thigh hard on the corner of the table on the way by. Gabriel winced in sympathy. 

When Dean walked into the kitchen, Sam was leaning against the counter, soda in hand, staring at the floor. Gabriel was sitting on the counter with his arms crossed, smirking, his hair an absolute disaster. 

“Gave him his pain meds and he’s asleep now,” Dean said, barely glancing at either of them. He walked straight to the fridge and pulled a beer out. He downed nearly half of it in one long swallow. “We’ve gotta wake him up every hour.” 

“Why don’t we each set alarms every three hours, then. You don’t have to do it all on your own, Dean. Might as well get what sleep you can,” Sam suggested 

“I guess. Doubt if I can sleep, though.” He took another long swig of beer. “Okay kids, let’s synchronize our watches.” 

They all pulled out their phones and divvied up the hours of the night. Dean finished his beer and headed back to bed. Sam and Gabriel moved to the living room and sat on the couch together. 

“I’m sorry for acting like an idiot just now,” Sam said. 

“Tall, gorgeous, _and_ graceful would have been just too much to ask for, my sexy giraffe,” Gabriel replied. “No worries.” 

“No, not that. I’m just not ready for anyone to know yet,” Sam said. “I guess that’s kind of stupid. I have no reason not to tell Dean, but…” 

“Hey, you don’t need to apologize for that. Take your time. I guess, uh, your family has only seen you date girls so far? They don’t know that you’re… is it bi? Pan? I don’t want to-” 

“Actually… I only have dated girls so far,” Sam said. “And I don’t even know what I’d call myself yet.” 

“Oh,” said Gabe. “Oh wow, Sam. Did… how long… please tell me I’m not the first guy crush you’ve even had.” Sam winced. “Sam! Sam, I’m your same-gender-attraction awakening? Oh kiddo.” Gabe sat back and ran his hands through his hair, a stunned look on his face. 

“Is that a dealbreaker for you?” Sam asked quietly. It felt like someone was squeezing his heart in a vise. “Should I get back to you after I’ve been around-” 

“No! Good grief, no. It’s just really thrown me for a loop is all. I don’t want to hurt you. You’re too good for me by far, Sam Winchester.” 

“We’re just going to have to disagree on that one, honey,” Sam said, leaning forward to grab Gabriel’s hand and lace their fingers together. “I intend to hold onto you for as long as you’ll let me.” 

Gabe made a whimpering noise and grabbed Sam’s shirt and pulled him in until they were sprawled across the couch, with Sam on top of Gabriel. They kissed, over and over until Sam felt like he had memorized every bit of Gabe’s mouth, as well as the feel of Gabe’s hands gliding over his back beneath his shirt, and the feeling of Gabe’s chest beneath his hands, Gabe’s hair between his fingers, Gabe’s pulse against his lips as he cautiously licked and sucked along his neck. Sam was toying with the top button of his shirt and wondering how far they were carrying this when the chime on his phone rang. “Hold that thought,” Sam said with a groan, adjusting his jeans as he stood up. 

He tiptoed into Dean’s bedroom. The carpet was soft beneath his bare feet. Dean was sound asleep and snoring, lying on his back on one side of the king-sized memory foam mattress. On the other side, Cas was carefully positioned. He had only one flat pillow beneath his head and shoulders, keeping them level. In the middle was a long roll pillow separating him from Dean, no doubt to prevent accidental jostling in their sleep, though Sam noted that Dean was curled around so that his feet could touch Cas’s. On Cas’s other side, Dean’s favorite pillow, the thick, squishy feather pillow, was tucked up against Cas’s body and his broken arm rested upon it. 

“Cas. Hey. Hey, Cas,” Sam whispered. He hesitated, not sure how to wake someone other than shaking them awake. Cas was sleeping pretty soundly, probably due to the medication. Sam reached over and brushed his cheek gently. “Cas, hey man. Cas!” he hissed. Any louder and he’d probably wake Dean and defeat the purpose of taking shifts. “Wake up, Cas.” Sam booped his nose. Was that annoying enough to wake someone? 

Cas twitched his nose and then his lips. “What?” he asked, his voice gravelly. 

“I need to wake you up,” Sam said. “Doctors orders and all that. So, uh. Wake up.” 

“Gotcha,” Cas said. He blinked a few times. 

“Do you need anything? Drink? Bathroom?” 

“I’m good. Thanks. May I go back to sleep now?” 

“Yeah, I guess so. I just have to wake you, that’s all.” 

When Sam returned to the living room, Gabriel was slouched in the corner of the couch, his eyes closed. Sam picked up the blanket to toss it over him, but Gabriel’s eyes fluttered open. 

“How is he?” 

“Fine, but you should get some sleep. You have the next hour.” 

“I’d sleep better if you’d adjourn with me to the guest room.” 

Sam hesitated for a moment. Dean was very preoccupied, after all. He was unlikely to figure out anything was going on. But Gabriel flushed and looked away. “Uh, sorry, I don’t mean to rush anything if- why don’t you take the bed? I’m fine here.” 

“No, don’t be silly. Are we really going to have this argument again? Come lie down with me. Just… we really should sleep.” 

Dean’s spare bedroom doubled as storage. Most of the walls were lined with stacked up boxes and random items. A battered desk held an old TV and a Super Nintendo, though none of it was connected. There was a filing cabinet shoved under the desk and a mountain of papers on top of it, months worth of bills and things waiting to be filed. One window looked out over the alley, and was covered by dusty mini blinds and a curtain with chickens printed on it. 

The double bed was pushed into a corner and covered with a purple and blue geometric printed comforter. Sam suddenly realized how exhausted he was. He peeled off his jeans with barely a thought toward being self conscious and crawled under the covers, close to the wall. 

Sam was just awake enough to roll over and watch as Gabriel undressed. He was beautiful in the sliver of moonlight that peeked in the window. The ripple of muscle in his shoulders as he took his t-shirt off made Sam’s breath catch. You wouldn’t expect it to see him fully dressed, but Gabe was strong; beefy even. Sam longed to squeeze those biceps, run his tongue along those clavicles, down those pecs… he forced himself to stop thinking about it. This was hardly the time, with Dean and an injured Cas asleep just the other side of that wall. 

Gabriel crawled under the covers and slid an arm around his waist. “Night, Sam,” he yawned, nuzzling close against his chest. Sam kissed his forehead and settled down to sleep. 

The rest of the night passed in a confused blur of alarms, shuffling in and out of bed, and cuddling. In the morning, Sam woke with Gabriel spooned up behind him. He allowed himself a moment to appreciate the feel of Gabriel nuzzling against his neck, lifting his hair to kiss beneath it. Gabe had one leg thrown over his, and was just close enough that Sam could tell he was aroused, though he was obviously trying to keep some respectful distance. “Morning, Samshine,” Gabriel murmured. Sam sighed contentedly. 

“We really should get up.” 

“Mmm. I’m already-” 

“-I, um, yeah, that would be hard to miss. … ugh, I did not mean to make that pun. I- don’t get me wrong, this is nice. Very nice. I would love to. Um. But…” 

“Yeah, I know,” Gabe said. Reluctantly, they pulled apart and got dressed. When they got to the kitchen, they found Dean cooking breakfast. A stack of pancakes sat on the back burner. Crisp bacon was already waiting on a nearby plate, peeking from beneath greasy paper towels. Eggs were frying in the small skillet. 

“Once these eggs are ready, I’m taking Cas his breakfast. You two take over from here?” 

“No problemo,” Gabriel agreed, poking at the bowl of pancake batter with the spoon. 

Sam poured himself a cup of coffee and grabbed a piece o bacon. He let Gabriel cook him some fluffy scrambled eggs, and they soon sat down to breakfast together. 

It was nearly an hour later when Dean returned. He looked distressed. 

“Dean?” Sam asked nervously. “Is everything okay? Cas...?” 

“What? Yeah, he ate and he’s resting again, seems to be feeling a little better. It’s just… well, another body was found this morning. They wanted me to come in but… I know it’s kind of shitty, but I told them I’m all crippled up from the crash and they should assign another detective. I just can’t leave him yet. Tomorrow, maybe, but- then he’s got the orthopedic consult, and-” 

“Dean, I can stay,” Gabriel said. “I’ve already texted my boss. Told her I want to take my vacation time this week. She understands. I’ll stay with him during the day, I’ll take him to appointments, all that jazz.” 

“Oh! That’s- that’s great news, Gabe, thank you.” 

“Of course. He’s my baby brother,” Gabe said quietly. 

“So… another murder,” Sam said. “Do they think it has anything to do with…” 

“Yep. Some compelling similarities to the other one. Gotta be the same guy.” Dean speared a few pancakes onto a plate, then piled bacon on them. “Oh, also, Chief says they’ve got photos from the security cameras across the way. He tried to send them over to me, but the stupid things won’t load. Doesn’t match anyone they’ve got on file, no one known to be connected to the drug dealers. But they’ve got pretty clear video of this guy coming in and fucking around with Cas’s car. Good ol’ nosy neighbors.” 

“Hired goon?” Sam guessed. 

“Doesn’t matter. When I find him I’m going to skin him alive.” A chill went down Sam’s spine. Dean was not making idle threats. He could easily see Dean torturing the vandal. As much as Sam wanted to see the punk suffer, he hoped that someone else managed to arrest him and prevent Dean from destroying his career for revenge. 

Sam decided to call off his shift at financial aid tomorrow morning. He didn’t have class until 1:30; he could head back in the morning. Bobby had called and said he hadn’t been able to get anyone to let him in the impound yard and “everyone in the police department is running around like headless chickens.” If nothing else, he’d drive Sam back to campus tomorrow morning, or send him on the morning Greyhound. 

Cas was still under orders for bed rest and quiet. Dean paced back and forth, between sitting at his bedside and sitting in the living room fretting. Gabe and Sam squabbled good-naturedly over movies most of the day, though Sam spent most of the time tucked into the corner of the couch with his laptop, trying to keep up on course reading. Every time Dean would leave the room, he and Gabe exchanged kisses and tender touches. 

“I’m gonna miss you this week,” Sam murmured. “I’ll come back up next weekend. You can drive back with me.” 

“Ooh good, I love road trips with you,” Gabe replied. “Even better now that I can openly ogle you.” He waggled his eyebrows. 

Sam kissed his nose, but the noise of Dean stirring from the bedroom soon had them scrambling apart again. 

“Hey guys, I’m gonna order Chinese for lunch. Cas is craving some hot n sour soup and sesame chicken.” He scratched at the stubble on his jaw. He was still clad in flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt, and though the stress was still etched into his face, he at least looked well rested. Sam noticed that he was moving a little slowly and stiffly as he went to grab a paper menu and a marker. Dean hadn’t been injured in the crash, but he was still feeling sore and trying to hide it. 

They’d soon compiled a list and Dean called in the order. While they waited, Dean grabbed his laptop and sat in the recliner, catching up on work emails. 

There was a knock at the door. “I’ll go grab it,” Gabriel offered. Dean handed him the cash and he went through the kitchen to answer the door. 

“Huh. That email finally came through. I’ve definitely never seen this son of a bitch around here before. I’ll bet those fuckers hired some big city hit man. I swear to god Sammy, I’m going to kill all of them. Look at this dickhead,” Dean grumbled. Sam set his laptop down, walking over to peer over Dean’s shoulder at the laptop screen. 

“No!” Sam gasped, his eyes widening. “Oh my god no, I can’t believe- we’re so stupid- Gabriel!” Sam exclaimed, bolting toward the kitchen. 

Dean stood up and followed him. “Sam, what the hell-” As they emerged from the living room into the kitchen, Gabriel appeared around the corner from the hallway that led from the front door. His hands were in the air and a large hand, its fingers stained in blood, was gripped tight on his shoulder. Another bloody hand held a knife to his throat. Gabriel’s golden eyes were wide and scared, and his face was pale with fear. 

“Heya Sammy,” said a silvery voice. “I need… I need you all to stay calm right now, okay, and I need some help. You’re gonna help me get out of here.” Lucian’s face peered over Gabriel’s shoulder and Sam felt sick horror wash over him. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, I couldn't leave you waiting for long, could I?

“Now… here’s what’s going to happen,” Lucian continued. “I’m going to go ahead and use that lovely rental car downstairs, and I’m going to need all the cash you have in the house, and Sammy and me… we’re going to take a little road trip.” 

“Like hell you are,” Dean hissed through his teeth. “You tried to kill Cas, you motherfucker.” 

“Ugh, don’t be so dramatic. I tried to kill all of you. You were supposed to all go in the same car. I just needed my stupid little brothers out of the way, really.” 

“You scumbag!” Sam exclaimed. He lunged toward him, but Dean seized him by the shirt and dragged him back. At Sam’s movement, Lucian dug the tip of the knife into Gabriel’s throat, drawing a trickle of blood. “Let him go,” Sam demanded in a panicked voice. “Let him go; what has he done to you? They just want to live their lives in peace away from you, why-” 

“But they’re still in Mike’s will. I tried, Sam. I tried to convince him to disinherit the brats. Then I’d only have one brother to wipe off the board to get to the money, the power, everything that should have been mine.” 

“I don’t want your money, and I don’t want anything to do with Dad’s company. I thought I made that clear years ago,” Gabriel said. “And I’m pretty sure Cas is a hundred percent done, as well. Just go, Luci. No one cares, just go leave us alone.” 

“Yeah, you say that now, but… people will be after me.” 

“You killed those people,” Dean said with sudden clarity. “That girl last month, that guy that they found this morning.” 

“You see why I can’t just walk away? Even if you were willing to overlook this little… family drama… wellll Detective over here can’t just let it go that I went and blew off a little steam in his town.” Lucian fixed his eye on Sam. “If only you’d been more accommodating, Sam. I wouldn’t have needed to stray.” 

Sam slumped back against the counter weakly. “Don’t listen to him, Sam,” Dean murmured. 

“If I go with you, will you let Gabe go?” Sam said. He felt his blood thrumming, his ears ringing, his vision blackening. He was terrified. He knew what Lucian wanted with him, and he knew he’d probably be killed afterward just like the two bodies he’d strewn around town. But he couldn’t let Gabriel die. 

“Don’t you dare,” Dean said. 

“Sam, no,” Gabriel begged. “It’s not worth it. I won’t let you do this.” 

“Oh, come on,” Lucian whined. “Let him come with me. Sam would be a much more fun hostage than my brother.” He thrust his hand into Gabriel’s hair and pulled a handful of it, yanking his head back. Gabriel made a choked sound of pain as the point of the knife dug in again, sending another trickle of bright red running down his throat to soak into his shirt collar. Sam remembered kissing that spot just a few hours ago, being careful to restrain himself not to leave any marks. “I mean, I guess this is a little bit fun,” Lucian added with a chuckle. 

“Stop,” Sam demanded. “Please. Dean, shut up. I’ll- I’ll go. I’ll be your leverage to make your escape.” He stepped forward, holding his hands up in the air. But Dean seized him around the waist and dragged him backwards, this time slamming him hard against the counter. They began wrestling, and Sam could see the desperation in his brother’s face. Dean might like Gabriel and not want any harm to come to him, but he would stop at nothing to keep Sam safe. 

“Okay, this is entertaining,” Lucian said. He certainly sounded amused. “I’ll let you two finish, but we really should hit the road soon, Sam sweetheart. Miss rush hour traffic and all that.” Dean had Sam pinned to the kitchen floor now, kneeling on his chest. Sam couldn’t see what was happening to Gabriel, was he still all right? 

“I will knock you out cold, you dumb shit,” Dean grunted. He swung a punch at Sam’s head. Sam tried to duck, and it lessened the blow but it still connected enough to make his ears ring. “I will not let him take you anywhere, do you hear me?” 

Sam was about to open his mouth to continue arguing that it was his choice and that he was willing to take that risk to protect Gabriel, that he’d realized just how in love with Gabriel he was, - was he really not going to get a chance to tell Gabe that he loved him? - when he heard the unmistakable sound of a gun cocking. Lucian had only seemed to have a knife; had he come in with a gun as well? If he had that, why was he only holding Gabe at knifepoint? Dean moved, got off Sam and slowly stood up, and then Sam was able to stand as well. 

“Let. Gabriel. Go,” said a gravelly voice from behind Lucian. Sam just caught a glimpse of messy dark hair. “Or I will blow a hole right through your chest.” 

“You wouldn’t do that, Cas,” Lucian said, though he sounded nervous. “You’d hit Gabe too.” 

“He’d fare better than you would,” Cas replied. 

“I have nothing to lose at this point,” Lucian sneered, flicking his wrist to drive the knife toward Gabriel’s throat. 

Everything happened so quickly after that. Sam screamed, a desperate, horrified bellow. The gun went off, and a hole tore through Lucian’s shoulder, causing his arm to drop uselessly to his side and drop the knife. Gabriel collapsed forward, and Sam scrambled to catch him and lay him flat on the floor. Blood, have to stop the blood, he thought. Sam pressed his shaking hands against the wound. It had been a glancing blow and had caught his collarbone before it could slice through much flesh, but it was still pouring blood. Gabe was staring up at him with stunned eyes. His lips twitched but he didn’t say anything, just made pained noises. “Shhhh, shhh, it’s okay,” he whispered. “You’re going to be okay. I love you, you have to be okay.” He grabbed a kitchen towel and pressed it against the wound. 

Lucian dropped to his knees and doubled over, clutching his wounded shoulder with his good hand. “You shot me!” he exclaimed to Cas incredulously. “I can’t b-” He didn’t get to finish his sentence as Dean seized the frying pan from the stove and smacked him in the head with it. It was a good clean hit, and Lucian went down like a sack of concrete. 

“Dean, no,” Cas said. “You can stop now.” Dean’s eyes were wild with fury, and he still had the frying pan clutched in his hands. Sam could see it coming; Dean would beat the unconscious man to death on the kitchen floor, cave his skull in, smear his brains all over the vinyl flooring. Dean looked like the berserkr from a book about Vikings that Sam had had as a child. Rational thought had fled his mind. 

Cas stepped forward, and suddenly cried out in pain. He leaned against the wall. He was sweating, his face looked gray. He still held the pistol in his good hand but it was shaking. Dean’s pistol, Sam realized. It had probably been in the nightstand or under the pillow. And Cas had been in bed, not outside the apartment. Suddenly nothing made sense. 

“Cas, you look like you’re going to collapse,” Sam said. “Dean, you have to take care of Cas.” That seemed to shake Dean out of this fugue state. He set the frying pan down and reached out to hold Cas and let him slump against him. Gabriel struggled to sit up and look to his little brother, and Sam pulled him up to lean against his lap. 

“Baby, how did you even…?” Dean asked, smoothing his hand over Cas’s cheek. 

“I heard the commotion. Got out of bed to come look… saw what was happening so I took your gun and went out the fire escape, then up the stairs.” 

“You shouldn’t have- Jesus, Cas!” Dean exclaimed. “Sweetheart, you are… incredible.” 

Dean got Cas to the living room and onto the couch. He then fished his phone out of his pocket and called the incident in. In no time, they were swarmed with emergency responders of all sorts, and it was all chaos and confusion again. Lucian woke up long enough to be arrested and was taken away, handcuffed to a stretcher, under heavy guard to an emergency room. Sam went with Gabriel in the second ambulance, promising Cas that he’d take good care of him. 

Gabe’s wounds weren’t as bad as Sam had feared. He got a few bags of IV fluids, a tetanus booster, and line of tiny stitches closing the gash across his chest, as well as surgical glue repair to the nicks in his throat. “You’re a lucky one,” the doctor said. “He missed some rather important blood vessels and nerves. You should be fine in a week or so. Take it easy, don’t get it wet, and come back if you have any signs of infection.” 

One of Dean’s colleagues came to take statements from them and drive them back to Dean’s house. It was still a chaotic scene of officers collecting evidence and writing on clipboards. It was late that night before they were left in peace. 

“Staying again, Sammy?” Dean asked as he headed toward the bedroom where Cas was already sleeping. He looked pointedly between the two of them. They sat together on the couch, close enough that their knees just touched. Sam blushed and looked away. He should have known there was no fooling Dean for very long. Dean just chuckled and walked away. 

After Dean had gone into the bedroom and shut the door, Sam held Gabriel’s hand and laced their fingers together. “How are you doing?” he asked. 

“Sore,” Gabe replied. “Every time I breathe, I feel the stitches pulling. It hurts… just everywhere, my whole chest, all the way into my back. Can I just go back and have them put me in a coma for the next week?” 

“No,” Sam said firmly. “It’s probably time for more advil, though. Sit tight and I’ll get it for you.” Sam bent over his hand and kissed his knuckles. “What do you want to drink?” 

“Tea? No, cocoa! With- do you think Dean has sprinkles?” 

Sam pursed his lips. “I’ll see what I can find.” 

Sam put the water on to boil and looked around sadly. Dean’s kitchen no longer felt like a homey, welcoming place. He couldn't stop looking at the doorway and thinking about how he had almost watched the man he loved die violently right in front of him. 

While he waited for the water to boil, he pulled things out of the cupboards searching for sprinkles. If Gabriel wanted sprinkles, Sam would do everything in his power to provide them. Fortunately, a bottle of rainbow sprinkles was unearthed behind the powdered sugar and a box of banana bread mix. Sam fixed the cup of cocoa, added whipped cream and sprinkles to the top, and even found a candy cane to place into it. He grabbed the bottle of advil and headed back to the living room, eager to get out of the kitchen. 

Gabe was leaning back into the corner of the couch with a dazed expression, but he brightened up when Sam presented him with the mug. “Aww Sam, this is beautiful. You’re too good at this; don’t let Anna see or she’s going to fire my ass and offer you my job.” He stirred the whipped cream in with the candy cane, then sucked the drops off the end of the sugary stick. Sam’s breath caught with a little gasp as lust flooded through him at the sight. Gabriel’s smile went from sweet to wicked, and he raised his eyebrows at Sam. 

“Oh, have I got your attention?” Gabe purred. Sam could only nod. “Oh sugar, just you wait until I feel better. The things I could do to you...” 

“L- looking forward to it,” Sam said. He cleared his throat. “In the meantime, take your medicine, and get some rest.” 

Gabriel had a hard time getting comfortable in the bed. Sam fussed over him, adjusting pillows and retucking blankets every time he twitched and winced, or made a pained whimper. He finally drifted off to sleep with Sam carding his fingers gently through his hair and Sam’s legs tangled around his. It was a while after that that Sam was able to fall asleep. He was afraid that he’d move in the night and hurt him, but it was Gabriel’s own tossing and turning that did that. Every time he woke himself painfully, Sam patiently helped him adjust and drift off again. 

“You’re the best, Sammich. So sweet. Love you,” Gabriel murmured sleepily sometime before sunrise. His hand was resting on Sam’s stomach and his fingers lightly stroked Sam’s skin. It had Sam rock hard, but all he could do was lie there and think about what Gabriel might do to him when his injuries were healed. As he fell back to sleep again, his dreams turned from sexual fantasies to panicked nightmares, watching Gabriel bleed out from the throat. Then it would switch back to the sex, Gabriel alive and hot and going down on him. Then back to the nightmares of him dying in his arms. Sam woke again in the early morning with tears on his cheeks and his pants sticky. It was the worst combination. 

He carefully climbed out of bed and went straight for the shower. The house smelled faintly of breakfast, and he figured Dean had probably cooked something for Cas and was holed up in the bedroom with him again. Sam showered, wrapped up in a towel, and went back into the guest room to dress quickly while Gabe slept. Sam drank in the sight of him relaxed and peaceful in sleep, the gentle rise and fall of his chest, the tousled golden hair splayed in a halo across the pillow. He tiptoed out of the room to let him get what rest he could. 

Before long, Bobby showed up to take Sam to get his car. Sam realized with an aching sadness that he wouldn’t be able to say a proper goodbye to Gabe, not with Dean and Bobby standing in the kitchen talking over the details of Lucian’s crime spree while Gabe slowly ate Fruity Pebbles and Sam gulped the last of his coffee. 

“I need to go grab my laptop and my clothes,” Sam said. “And Gabe, you were going to give me that house key?” 

“Oh, right. Can’t let my plants wither.” He followed Sam into the guest room, and they shared a soft, hungry kiss. Sam restrained himself from embracing or touching Gabriel, afraid to hurt the wounds on his neck and chest if he got too carried away, but he found it was nice to let Gabe take the lead. All too soon they were breaking apart, panting for breath and scrambling to grab the items. Sam felt a little less awful about parting. 

The week seemed to drag on. Sam did all his homework in the library or in his dorm, unable to bring himself to visit the cafe without Gabriel there. He dutifully went to Gabriel’s apartment and brought the mail in and watered the houseplants each afternoon. And if he spent a little extra time lying on the bed, hugging the pillow that was infused with Gabe’s scent, and looking at photos of him on his phone, no one really needed to know that. 

At last it was Friday afternoon, and Sam was driving north once again. The drive had never seemed to go so slowly. He made as few stops as possible, and soon he was dashing up the steps to Dean’s apartment. 

Everyone was in the kitchen. As he came down the hallway, he could see Dean standing at the stove, stirring something in a large pot. It smelled like chicken soup. 

Cas was leaning against the counter nearby. He waved at Sam as he came down the hallway. The neck collar was gone and the bruises on his neck and face had faded considerably. The ribs that they’d feared cracked were only badly bruised, and the fracture in his arm had only required setting, no surgery or pins. His arm was now in a black cast that stopped short of his elbow. Cas was smiling, his eyes bright and joyful as he looked at Dean. It was a relief to see him looking so much better. Gabriel had texted Sam throughout the week, dozens upon dozens of texts, but some of them had been to keep Sam apprised of how Cas’s recovery was going. 

Gabriel was sitting in that familiar spot in front of the toaster. Sam was amazed that Dean wasn’t giving him crap for sitting on his counters. He was playing some kind of game on his phone, frantically tapping at something. He had a v-neck shirt on, and it looked like he’d deliberately stretched it out so the angry red wound on his chest could get air unencumbered by fabric. His hair was pulled back in a tiny half ponytail though it was just barely long enough to stay put. Sam felt the urge to pull the elastic out and run his fingers through it and mess it up. Then he’d run his fingers all over his face, trace his lips, dip a finger into his mouth and let him suck on it, before finally leaning in to kiss him… he realized suddenly that he was still standing in the kitchen doorway staring at Gabriel. Gabe had set down his phone and was staring back at him. There was mirth in those golden eyes, and a challenge. 

“Cas, we should go put that laundry away before it gets wrinkled,” Dean said, balancing the spoon on the edge of the pot. 

Cas frowned. “I’m sure it’s fine, you hung up your work clo- ahh. We could… get the socks paired… before they get too lonely?” 

Sam had already crossed the kitchen and stood in front of Gabriel, ignoring Dean and Cas’s conversation entirely. “Hey,” he said. “I missed you.” He touched Gabe’s face, just a brush of fingertips on his cheek before he leaned in and brought their lips together. It was a sweet kiss, not heated, but filled with the certainty of belonging together and the familiarity of each other, a kiss that said ‘we’re home.’ That’s how it felt, Sam realized. Kissing Gabriel was like coming home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it, and I want to thank you all so much for reading along! If you're feeling a little... deprived... by where the story ends, rest assured that there is more to come. I'm going to make this a series and add a bit of a timestamp in the near future, once Gabriel is feeling 100% again. *eyebrow waggle* So keep an eye out for that!


End file.
